


iHangover

by bluecinderella4



Category: iCarly
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-06
Updated: 2010-02-15
Packaged: 2013-10-08 21:16:48
Rating: T
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,239
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5724555/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1284000/bluecinderella4
Summary: Based off of The Hangover, with characters from iCarly. What happens when 4 friends go to Vegas for a bachelor party?





	1. Trailer

iHangover

Bought and watched _The Hangover_ with my family and got inspired to write this. Changed things up a bit though. I have a fake trailer.

* * *

**A panicky bride-to-be answers her phone**

"_Hello?"_

"_Carly, it's Shane."_

"_Shane, what's going on? Where are you guys?"_

"_We lost Griffin."_

"_What? We're getting married in 5 hours!"_

"_Yeah….that's not gonna happen."_

**Two days earlier, 4 friends went to a bachelor party in Vegas**

"What happened last night?" Shane asked.

**And what happened the next morning….**

"THERE'S A TIGER IN THE BATHROOM!"

"Am I missing a tooth?"

"Whose baby is that?"

"Check it's collar, or something."

"I looked everywhere. No one has seen Griffin."

"What happened to the car?"

"Who cares. I've always wanted to ride in a police car!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"I married a whore!"

"How dare you, she's a nice lady!"

"Is there someone in the trunk?"

**Well….some guys just can't handle Vegas**

"Mike Tyson?"

_**THE HANGOVER**_

* * *

Wanna know who the other 2 guys are? Let me know if I should continue. Oh, and this might have spoilers for people who haven't seen _The Hangover_. Rating could change later.


	2. We're Going to Sin City

Okay, here's the basic intro and descriptions of the guys. I decided to make the next chapter, when they arrive in Vegas, short so the 4th chapter should be the morning after. Moving on……

* * *

Griffin had really only became friends with Gibby because he was his fiancée Carly's stepbrother. He also took pity on him because Gibby was…..well as Griffin thought, he wasn't all there.

"Watch it perv!" Gibby yelled as he was getting fitted for his tux.

"Gibby, he's just measuring for the tux."

"He was getting a little too close to my shaft."

"I'm done," the fitter headed out the door. "You guys can change now. Good luck with your wedding."

"Thanks Floyd," Griffin tossed Gibby his pants. "So, you psyched about Vegas?"

"You know," Gibby had his back turned to Griffin as he was pulling down his pants. "These guys are your friends. You don't have to take me."

Griffin shuddered as he glanced at Gibby's thong. "No, I want to. You're my friend too, and Carly's stepbrother. So it's like you're gonna be my brother too."

"Awesome!" Gibby ran over and gave Griffin a hug. "I want us to have an awesome time in Vegas. I don't care if we kill a guy."

"What?"

"We're going to Sin City."

"Right. I'm gonna go talk to Jeff."

"Cool, I'll come with." Gibby followed Griffin to the garage where Jeff, Carly's dad, was waiting.

"Griffin," he put his arm around his shoulders. "How do you plan to get to Vegas?"

"We were gonna take my car."

"Oh no," Jeff opened his garage. "You're gonna take mine."

"We can take your 1960's Mercedes to Vegas."

"Uh-huh. Oh, but don't let Gibby drive. I think there's something wrong with him," Jeff pointed to Gibby, who was tongue kissing their dog.

"Understood."

"Oh, and that Shane guy. Don't let him drive either."

"Got it. I will be the only driver."

"Good. Bring my baby back in one piece. And remember, what happens in Vegas---"

"Stays in Vegas."

The two men laughed. Jeff then looked serious. "Except for Herpes. That shit will stay with you no matter what."

...

Shane was a science teacher at a prestigious private school. He wasn't all too happy with his mundane life. He was married, with a son, and his job paid quite a bit of money. But he still felt....unsatisfied.

"Alright," he stood in front of his class. "One last announcement before we go; half of you guys need to turn in your 90 bucks for the observatory field trip. If you turned in just a permission slip, that's not gonna take you on the trip." The bell rang. "Don't forget to do page 76 by Tuesday!"

As the students were leaving, some were dropping off envelopes with money. Shane took the money out of the envelopes and stuffed it in his wallet.

Griffin and Gibby were waiting in the Mercedes. Gibby was shaking and trying to cover his face. "I shouldn't be here."

"What?"

"I can't be within 200 feet of a school."

"What?"

"Or a Chuck-e-Cheese."

Shane burst open the main doors and headed to where the Mercedes was.

"Mr. Maslow---"

"Sorry Robby, it's the weekend. I don't know you!" He went over to the other guys. "Hey! Hey! I'm driving!"

"Hell no," Griffin responded. "Come on."

"Who's this?" Shane pointed to Gibby.

"This is Gibby."

"I met you like four times," Gibby added.

"Oh. 'Sup man," Shane put his feet up on the back of Gibby's chair.

...

Freddie was packing his suitcase.

"Freddie," his mom came into his room. "Don't forget your hair gel."

"Thanks Mom."

"Don't forget to use it."

"Okay Mom."

"Do you have everything? Extra underwear? Ointment? Rash Cream?"

"Yes. And I only got that rash one time!"

"I just don't feel comfortable with you going on a trip without me."

"Mom, I'm twenty-four years old."

"You'll always be my baby." She pulled him closed and kissed him.

"MOM!"

"Sorry Fredlumps."

"I'm only gonna be gone for a couple days at a dental convention in Carson City. If I want an upgrade from a dental assistant to an actual dentist, I gotta know what I'm doing."

"Just don't forget to call me."

"I won't."

"And Freddie, don't go to a strip club."

"Mom, it's Carson City."

"But you're with that Shane in the state where Las Vegas is. And knowing Shane he can sniff out a strip club. I just wish your friends were as mature as you."

"They are."

"PAGING DR. FAGGOT!" Shane called from the car. "DR. FAGGOT!"

"I'll see you in a couple of days, Mom."

"OH FREDDIE!" She grabbed him closer and continually kissed his head. "My baby!"

"MOM!"

"Sorry, Freddiekins. Have a good time in Carson City."

"Thanks Mom." Freddie went out to the car.

...

"Your mom know we're going to Vegas?" Griffin asked as they were driving on the highway.

"I told her we were going to a dental convention in Carson City," Freddie answered.

Shane laughed. "You're twenty-four years old and you lie to your mom, who may I add you still live with, about going to Vegas."

"Guys, you know how my mom tends to worry."

"I'm just saying you need this trip."

"Well if my mom was worried, would she have given me this credit card to pay for the room at Caesars Palace?"

"AWESOME!"

"No way!"

"You know she's gonna use that credit card to spy on you," Shane said. "Remember when you discovered she implanted a chip in your head and you got that surgically removed."

"Shane," Griffin began. "don't worry about. Let's just enjoy our trip."

"Yeah, this is the last time you're out as a free man before Sunday. When you start dying a little each day."

"Marriage isn't like that. I love Carly, and she loves me. And she's not as crazy as Freddie's mom."

"Good point. Unless she gets drunk on a cruise and screws a bellhop."

"Okay first off, he was a bartender," Freddie corrected. "And those pictures on the internet can't prove a thing. My mom doesn't like drinking or sex. He didn't even come inside her."

"You believe that crock?"

"Yes, because my mother hates semen."

"Hey Gibby, is anything on the other side before I turn?" Griffin asked.

Gibby wasn't paying attention, he was reading a blackjack book. "You're good."

Griffin didn't notice the semi truck. The car hit the side of the truck and swerved over into on coming traffic as Griffin tried to get in the correct lane. "GIBBY, WHAT THE HELL?"

"WE ALMOST DIED!"

Gibby was laughing. "That was awesome!"

"NO IT WASN'T"

Shane was laughing. "Actually that was kinda awesome."

* * *

Obvious character change. If you've seen The Hangover, you know Stu (who I based Freddie on) dated a controlling bitch named Melissa. Well I got rid of Melissa and added Marissa, Freddie's controlling mother. Oh and here are who the guys are based off of.

Phil Wennick (Bradley Cooper)= Shane Maslow

Stu Price (Ed Helms)= Freddie Benson

Alan Garner (Zach Galifinakis)= Gibby Gibson

Doug Billings (Justin Bartha)= Griffin Drew

I did my research. The guy who played Shane in icarly was James Maslow (he's now on Big Time Rush) and the guy who played Griffin was named Drew Roy (he did that "He Could be the One" episode of Hannah Montana) so that's where I got their last names. I just added Carly's dad and named him Jeff. Wow this is long, I'll stop. Reviews would be nice please.


	3. A Night We Won't Forget

I made this one longer than I had planned. Oh well. Hey, I might as well put it up while I have nothing to do until after dinner. I could even put up chapter 4 if I still don't have anything to do by then. My life is very boring.

* * *

"This place is frickin' huge," Shane observed.

"I think my paycheck wouldn't even cover one night at this place," Griffin said. "You make a reservation, Freddie?"

"Sure did." The four guys went to the receptionist.

"Welcome to Caesars Palace. How may I help you?"

"We have a reservation, under Dr. Benson."

Shane laughed. "Dr. Benson? You're not even an official dentist."

"Miss," Gibby began, "is this place pager friendly? I'm not getting a signal on my pager. How am I supposed to talk to people?"

"Um, there's a phone in your room," she told him.

"Awesome! That'll work."

"Okay. I have you gentlemen down for a two bedroom on the twelfth floor."

"That sounds great," Freddie took out his credit card.

"When you say two bedroom, you mean like two beds?" Shane asked. The receptionist nodded.

"I'm bunking with Shane," Gibby had his hand raised. "That cool?"

"No it is not cool. We are not sharing beds. What are we twelve?" He turned to the receptionist. "How much is a villa?"

"It's $42,00 for the night," she answered.

"Is it awesome?" Gibby asked.

"It's pretty awesome."

"We'll take it," Shane took Freddie's credit card.

"No," Freddie took his card back. "My mom will check it."

"We'll split it," Griffin took out his wallet.

"No Griff!" Shane took Freddie's card. "This is on us."

"And you don't pay until you check out," the receptionist added.

"See. We'll figure out something then."

Freddie groaned. "Alright. We'll take the villa."

"Excellent choice," the receptionist smiled.

"One more question," Gibby began. "Is this the real Caesars Palace?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did Caesar actually live here?"

"No."

"I didn't think so."

...

"This can't fail," Gibby was saying. "It's a fool-proof system."

"But counting cards is illegal," Freddie told him.

"No, it's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane."

"Gib," Shane began, "I'm pretty sure that's illegal too."

"Only because people got too damn sensitive after 9/11. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!"

"And if I'm being honest, Gib, you don't have the mental capacity to count cards."

"Do so. Rain Man did and he was a retard." Gibby pronounced it like ra-tard.

"Ra-tard?"

"I think he means re-tard," Griffin corrected. "2452, here's our room," Griffin slid the card in the card-key slot.

The suite was an enormous suite. Aside from a magnificent view of Vegas, there were 4 flat screen TVs, a bar, four rooms each with king sized beds, swanky furniture, and two large bathrooms with hot tubs.

"This room is kick-ass," Freddie threw his suitcase in one of the rooms.

"It is," Griffin commented. "Thanks guys. Or should I say thanks Freddie."

"Hey, you're our best friend. This is a wedding gift for you."

"So you guys didn't get me anything?"

"Gentlemen," Shane began, "I suggest we get cleaned up and meet in here in 30 minutes. Sound good?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds good."

"Is that the actual Eiffel Tower?" Gibby pointed to something near the _Paris_ hotel.

...

"Yeah Mom, we just got here…….it's a really quaint place. No TVs no loud music. The only music they have here comes from antique radios. We also met the owner……….his name? It's Caesar Pollache….yeah like the salad. Oh the guys are here! We're getting ready to go to a seminar on gingivitis…..yes I'm sure it'll be fun……I love you too Mom."

"Nice pink boxers," Shane commented.

"These are the only ones I could find," Freddie dumped his bag onto his bed. "I know I have some gray ones in here."

"What's that?" Griffin pointed to something silver and round.

"This?" Freddie examined it. "Shit! This is my grandmother's Holocaust ring. My mom wears this ring like 24/7, it must've slid off her finger."

"Put it in your pocket so you don't lose it."

"But hurry up," Shane threw some gray boxers at Freddie. "Oh and where's Gibby."

"He'll be back," Griffin answered. "He said he had to do something downstairs."

"Let's go now and ditch him."

"No, we can't. We have to keep an eye on him. Carly asked me to make sure that he doesn't gamble or drink."

"He's like a frickin' gremlin, he comes with instructions. Is he all there? You know mentally."

"Yeah, he just has a few childlike qualities."

"We should get him drunk for shits and giggles."

"Who says that anymore?"

...

The four friends, three of them looking fancy in their snappy casual (no jeans, no tena shoes, nothing on their shirt), Gibby looking….interesting in tight pants, a gray t-shirt, and a---

"Why are you wearing that man purse?" Shane asked.

"It's not a man purse. It's a satchel. It's cool, Indiana Jones wears one."

"So does Joy Behar. Elevators here, we're going up."

"I thought we were going to a casino," Griffin questioned.

"Quick detour."

They took the elevator up to the roof. "We're not supposed to be up here."

"Lighten up Freddo, we got a villa. We can do whatever the hell we want. But put that wedge there, you can't get back in 'cause it only opens from the inside."

"I gotta hand it to you Shane," Griffin looked around. "This place is amazing."

"Hey guys!" Gibby ran over carrying four shot glasses and a bottle of Jagermeister. "Got the drinks."

"Sweet." The guys poured themselves a shot.

"I would like to propose a toast," Freddie said. "To Carly and Griffin."

"Here! Here!" The guys clanked their glasses together.

"I have something to say," Gibby pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I consider myself a loner. A lone wolf. But then Carly met Griffin, and the wolf pack had two wolves. Then Griffin introduced me to his friends, you guys. And the wolf pack has four friends. I say tonight, we make our friendship wolf pack official." He pulled out a pocketknife and began to cut his left hand.

"GIBBY!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Blood brothers," he answered. "Who's next?"

"Griffin, please take that knife away," Freddie pleaded.

"Gibby, we're not gonna do that. We don't want AIDS."

Gibby sucked on his hand. "Okay."

"Back on topic," Shane lifted his glass. "Here's to a night we won't forget."

"Here! Here!" The friends clinked their glasses together.

* * *

I think you all know what's coming in the next chapter. Did you guys realize the room #? 2452? Add the numbers up you get unlucky 13 (that was purposely put there in the movie and my fanfic). Also, I might add other stuff they didn't do in the Hangover (key word might) so ideas would be cool. Review please.


	4. Some Guys Just Can't Handle Vegas

I'm so bored, it seems later than the actual time it is around here. Also I apologize I tend to get things done in a hurry so I update really fast sometimes. I've also noticed I like taking icarly characters and put them in different movies. Don't know why, I guess I just really like movies. So I apologize if I'm going to fast for you guys. I'm trying to stay true to the movie, I know I missed a few things, but I think it's going good. How 'bout my readers? How do you think it's going? Moving forward.

* * *

The next morning, the suite was in total disarray. A loveseat had a giant burn hole from a cigarette, a naked blow up doll was in the bubble-filled hot tub with a piggy bank, a giant sword was in an apple, the TVs were tilted and nearly falling off the walls, clothes were left everywhere, there was a chicken, and everything was on the floor. Including the three groomsmen.

Freddie woke up on the floor when he heard the door shut. His hair was sticking up, and his glasses were across from him. He had a massive headache, and putting on the glasses made him even more dizzier.

Gibby was sleeping behind the bar, had giant beads around his neck, and was pants-less. He stumbled up, knocking things over, and slowly made his way to the bathroom. As he was taking a whiz, he heard a growl. He glanced over at a giant tiger near the shower. First, he thought nothing of it.

"Stupid tiger." Then he did a double take and ran out of the bathroom.

Shane was wrapped up in blankets in front of the bathroom, and woke up when Gibby tripped over him. "Gibby? What the fu---"

"DON'T GO IN THERE!"

"What? Why?"

"THERE'S A TIGER IN THE BATHROOM!"

Shane got up and went in the bathroom. "He's not kidding."

"That is a jungle cat in the bathroom! How does a tiger get in the bathroom?"

"Just put some pants on." Shane took a seat on a recliner near the couch where Freddie was sitting. "What happened last night?"

"I dunno," Freddie looked around, "but this place is a total disaster. God, I am in so much pain. What happened last night?"

"I have no clue."

"What are we gonna do about the tiger?" Gibby panicked.

"Don't worry about that now. Go wake up Griffin so we can get some coffee, and put some pants on. I feel weird having to ask you twice," Shane put his hands on his head. "I've got a massive headache."

"Hey Shane," Freddie began, "am I missing a tooth?"

"Let me see," Freddie smiled. "Holy shit!"

Freddie grabbed a platter tray under his feet. "OH MY GOD! My lateral incisor's gone."

"Guys," Gibby came out of Griffin's room. "I can't find Griffin. I looked everywhere."

"He's probably by the pool getting something to eat. I'll call his cell."

Freddie seemed distracted by his obviously missing tooth. "What am I gonna tell my mom? How did this happen?"

"Freddie, just calm down." Shane pulled out his phone.

"How can I calm down? I look like a nerdy hillbilly."

As Shane called Griffin's phone, a ring was heard near Gibby. Gibby picked up the phone. "Hello."

"Gibby, it's Shane."

"Shane? This is Griffin's phone!"

"No shit, Sherlock." Shane and Freddie both had their hands on their heads.

"Did I mention Griffin's mattress is gone too?"

"No Gibby," Freddie answered. "I think you left out that minor detail." Freddie turned to Shane. "By the pool huh? Do you think he went mattress surfing?"

It was quiet until they heard what sounded like a baby crying. They followed the noise to the closet, where they found a baby in a car seat.

"Whose baby is that?" Shane asked.

"Gibby, you sure no one else is here?" Freddie asked.

"Positive. Check it's collar or something."

"Don't worry about this now," Shane turned to leave. "Let's go find Griff."

"We can't leave the baby here!" Freddie objected. "There is a tiger in the bathroom."

"It's not our baby!"

"Yeah, I'm with Freddie on this one," Gibby took the baby. "I kinda wanna wear one of those baby sling things."

"Fine, we'll take it with us. Gibby for the love of God, please put on some frickin' pants."

...

The three guys went to the main floor. "I'm gonna look around for Griffin," Freddie told Shane and Gibby. "Maybe ask around. Someone should know what happened last night. Why can't we remember a damn thing?"

"Because we obviously had a great time. Don't worry so much, be proud of yourself," Shane patted Freddie's shoulder. "Gibby and I will meet you by the pool, maybe Griffin's there."

"Great. Oh, and I'll try to see if someone's missing a baby." Freddie went over to the receptionist desk. This time it was a nasty looking man with a giant wart. "Excuse me,"

"May I help you?"

"My friends and I can't remember anything that happened last night. Can you help us? We're looking for our friend Griffin, and---"

"YAGHHHHHHHH!"

"Ah!"

"Oh I need help remembering what happened. Where's my friend? Why am I such a loooooossssseeeeeerrrrrr?"

"Could you just contact us Mr.…." Freddie looked at his nametag. "Lewbert?"

"No! QUIT STARING AT MY WART!"

"I wasn't, I---"

"GET OUT!" Freddie sprinted away.

...

"Aw, what a cute baby," a pool girl began playing with the baby's hand. "What's his name?"

"Carlos," Gibby responded.

"Carlos?" The girl and Shane were in a confused unison.

"Yeah, but we don't know who his mother is." The girl walked away with a confused look. "She wanted me."

"Sure Gib," Shane looked at his watch. "Why am I awake at ten in the morning on a Saturday?"

"Shane look," Gibby was using the baby's arm to mimic masturbation. "He's jacking his little weenis."

Shane chuckled. "Pull yourself together man."

"Not at the table, Carlos."

Freddie came over to the table. "I looked everywhere. Front desk, casino, gym, elevators, bathrooms. Nobody's seen Griffin. Face it, he's not here. He's probably dead."

"He's fine," Shane assured, "he's a grown man he can practically take care of himself. Calm down, have some orange juice. Try not to get too upset. Remember when you get upset you tend to---" Freddie began throwing up. "Do that. Let's just try to remember what happened last night," Shane grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. "What do we remember last night?"

"First I remember us drinking on the roof," Gibby responded.

"Then we had dinner at…….The Palm. Right?"

"Right. Then we played craps at The Hard Rock. Griffin was there I think."

"Yeah, he was definitely there."

"You know," Freddie interrupted, "I don't even remember going to dinner."

"I know. I don't think I've ever been this hung-over."

"Me too," Gibby added. "I blacked out after The Hard Rock." Gibby laughed as he put his hands in his pockets. "Ow! What is this?"

"Oh my God! That's my tooth," Freddie snatched his tooth. "Why do you have that?"

"Guys," Shane dug into his pockets. "this is a good thing. Check your pockets."

Gibby put his items on the table first. "I got a lot of change, and a bolt."

Freddie had a slip of paper. "I have an ATM receipt from The Bellagio. It's around 11:05 for…$800! I am so screwed!"

"Wait," Gibby took something else from his pockets. "I have a valet ticket from here. Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m."

"Crap," Shane covered his face. "We drove last night?"

"Cool bracelet," Gibby pointed.

"Bracelet?" Shane looked down. "What the hell?"

"Jesus!" Freddie examined it. "That's a hospital bracelet. You were in the hospital last night."

"Thanks for the update Captain Obvious! No, this is good. We have a lead now."

"Freddie," Gibby said, "check this out," he mimicked the masturbation again. "He's jacking off his weenis. Ever seen a baby do that?"

"Dude, Gibby, not cool."

...

Shane went to talk the valet and left Freddie and Gibby at the front. "So," Freddie looked at the baby. "You're qualified to take care of that baby, right?"

"Yeah," Gibby answered. "I found a baby before."

"You found a baby before?"

"Yeah, at a Starbucks."

"Wait, what is that?"

"It's like the most famous coffee selling place ever. Babies have been left there before. Like one guy----"

"Gibby, shut up. Hey Shane, check this out!"

Shane went over to where the other two were standing. "Oh my God!"

"Is that the mattress from Griffin's room?" Gibby asked.

Shane went over to a guy who was putting a bag in his trunk. "Hey, what happened? What's going on?"

"Some a-hole threw his bed out the window last night," he answered. "Some guys just can't handle Vegas."

The guy left, and the three friends stared up at the mattress, which had been thrown on top of a statue.

"Here's your car officers," the valet called.

Instead of expecting the Mercedes, the three friends found themselves staring at a cop car.

* * *

My fingers hurt. I'll stop there. I think I covered a lot in this chapter. I promise I won't have something up until tomorrow afternoon maybe around 5 or 6. (I also stay after school for Oz auditions). I also hope you guys don't mind me putting Lewbert in there. Please review, reviews are much appreciated. Feel free to ask questions too, I'll answer those.


	5. What is Going On

Okay, so someone obviously knows the Hangover. See Stu marries a stripper named Jade. I am a total seddie fanatic, so I think you know where this is headed. Good job babewivbrains, and I'm glad you like this. So this is the chapter where she is introduced. Please enjoy…..

* * *

Shane looked around. "Yes, our car," He went over to the valet and took the car keys. "Well it's not our car it technically belongs to the station, but you get the idea."

"I wanna ride in the back!" Gibby ran over to the car and quickly opened the door, subsequently hitting the baby who was riding in the sling.

"Oh my god!" Freddie bent down to examine the baby. "Gibby, you just nailed the baby."

"Are my sunglasses okay?" The baby was wearing Gibby's enormous sunglasses.

"Your glasses are fine, dick."

"Come on guys!" Shane called. "Oh Freddie, tip the valet."

"With what, my credit card?"

"Yeah."

Freddie looked at the valet. "We owe you five bucks."

"Thanks jackass," the valet flipped them off and went back to work.

...

Freddie absolutely did not like riding in the cop car. "This is so illegal."

"Can't you see the fun part in anything?" Shane asked.

"Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back seat. Which part of this is fun?"

It was silent for a brief moment. "I think the cop car part's pretty awesome," Gibby said.

"Yes, thank you Gib, it is awesome." Shane honked the horn. "Screw this." He turned on the siren and began driving on the sidewalk.

"No!" Freddie was clearly against this. "No, Shane! Don't do this!"

"Take it easy man, we gotta find Griff."

"Just try not to divert any attention toward us."

Shane took the cop intercom. "Attention! Attention! Please move out of the way! I repeat please disperse. By the way ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack."

"Stop the car, I wanna get out! Stop the car! And get off the sidewalk."

"I shoulda been a frickin' cop," Shane laughed. "Look there's the hospital over there. We'll just get the information we need and leave."

...

The doctor who treated Shane the night before was with an elderly patient. "I already told you, you came in here with a mild concussion and some bruised ribs. No big deal. Though none of you guys knew how it happened. You were all pretty wasted last night."

"How many of us was here?" Freddie asked.

"I don't know. It was you guys, definitely no baby. And one other guy."

"That's our guy! That's Griffin! Was he okay?"

"Yeah, just whacked out of his mind. You all were." The doctor helped his elderly patient up. "Okay Felix, I need you to turn your head and cough."

Freddie and Shane turned around in disgust as Gibby watched with fascination.

"Okay Felix, you can put your robe on, the nurse will be here any minute. Sorry guys, I gotta go. I have surgery in twenty minutes."

"Okay but," Shane pulled out a $100 bill. "We just need a few more minutes of your time."

The doctor looked at it. "Put it in my pocket, and follow me."

The three friends followed the doctor to a file counter. "Patient Maslow, Shane. Arrival time 2:45 a.m. Like I said minor concussion and some bruising."

"Mind if I take a look?" Freddie asked. "I'm actually a doctor."

"You said that several times last night. But really, you're just a dental assistant. Oh, your blood work came in this morning. They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system." The guys stared at him in confusion. "Ruphylin. GHB. Roofies. Commonly known as the date-rape drug."

"Are you saying I was raped last night?" Shane questioned.

The doctor browsed through the file. "No. But someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

Gibby laughed. "Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?"

They ignored him. "How could someone have drugged all of us?" Shane asked.

"I'm not sure. But don't worry, the stuff's out of your system. You'll be fine."

"Wait," Freddie began, "do you remember anything else. Was there something we were talking about, or some place we were going?"

"Yeah you guys kept talking about some wedding you guys had just come back from, at the Best Little Chapel. I really gotta go now."

"Best Little Chapel," Shane took out the paper and pen. "You know where that is?"

"It's at the corner of Get A Map and Screw Off. I'm a doctor, not a tour guide."

...

The guys drove off to the Best Little Chapel.

"Guys, what about the baby?" Gibby asked.

"He'll be fine, I cracked the window," Shane responded. They walked into the chapel. "Let's hope he remembers us. Hey dude!"

A curly haired guy turned around and began laughing. "Look at these guys! You guys miss me? You want more from me?" He gave Shane and Gibby hugs. "Listen, I've met some crazy people in my life," he pointed to Freddie. "This guy's the craziest, wildest bastard I've ever met."

"This guy?" Shane and Gibby asked in confused unison.

"Yeah, I thought he was gonna eat my dick. So, what's up?"

Freddie cleared his throat. "Listen, um---"

"Jonah."

"---Jonah, we're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night. Was there a wedding here?"

"You're kidding me?"

"Also," Shane began. "Was there another guy with us?"

"The small guy, like a monkey?"

"That must be Griff! Have you seen him?"

"When he was with you guys."

"Okay," Freddie sighed. "Is there anything else you can tell us about last night?"

"You don't remember anything?" The guys shook their heads. "I'll show you." He went to the front desk and handed them a giant, white photo album that said "Wedding Memories"

Gibby flipped open the book to reveal a curly blonde girl in a yellow dress, and a white hat with a veil in the back, holding hands with Freddie. "Congratulations, Freddie. You got married."

"Oh shit!" Freddie groaned. "This can't be happening."

More pictures revealed all four friends were there wearing matching blue polyester suits.

"I'll tell you one thing," Shane showed Freddie more pictures, "you look seriously happy for a nerdy hillbilly."

"My life is over. My mom is gonna flip when she sees this!"

"Dude, chill. Marissa won't know anything about this okay."

Jonah put a giant box on the counter. "We've got the deluxe package. An album like this. We have baseball caps, coffee mugs, calendars, with your pictures on them. Good choice in women Freddie, my type. Blonde, big tits. But the tits are from having a baby, that's obvious."

"That explains Carlos," Gibby said.

"Check it out, her name's Sam," Shane held up the calendar to Freddie. Freddie groaned. "You wouldn't happen to have her address by any chance would you?"

"It's in the paperwork," Jonah took out a stapled sheet of papers. "I also do annulments, but I gotta have both the bride and groom."

"No prob," Shane wrote down her address. "Grab a box, let's go." He and Gibby carried boxes to the police car.

"Hey Shane, do you think Jeff's car is alright?" Gibby asked as he put on a Sam and Freddie baseball cap.

"Sure I do. Griff probably has it right now. We'll get it back."

"Then I vote we torch the cop car and all this crap with it," Freddie said.

"Freddie, this isn't like you. Who are you man?"

"I dunno. Apparently I'm a guy who marries complete strangers." Freddie threw some mugs, and Gibby's hat on the ground and stomped on them. "This is all evidence of a night that never happened! That is why I'm torching all of this!"

"Can I help?" Gibby asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Freddie's phone rang. "Crap! It's my mom. I gotta answer it, she called twice already." Freddie answered his phone. "Hey Mom."

"FREDDIE! I tried calling you three times. I thought you were dead!"

"No, Mom," he answered as he sat in the back next to the baby. "Reception sucks."

"Don't use that language around me Fredward!"

"Sorry Mom. Listen we're about to go on a……tractor ride so---"

"A tractor ride?"

None of the three guys noticed an orange mustang pull up next to them, until two tough looking guys stepped out of the car with baseball bats.

"OUT OF THE CAR!" One guy shouted.

"Freddie," his mom began, "what was that?"

"I think the tractor backfired. For safety precautions we---"

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE?" The other guy yelled.

"I dunno," Shane answered. "I think we're looking for the same guy." The guys began smashing the cop car. "WHAT THE HELL?"

The baby began crying, crying loud enough for Mrs. Benson to hear.

"Freddie, is that a baby?"

"No, it's a goat. Hey, sir," He called to Shane, "will you please start the tractor?"

"I'm trying to, but we're frickin' blocked!"

The guys continued smashing the car.

"HEY, THERE'S A BABY ON BOARD!" Gibby yelled

"Fredward Benson! Someone just said baby!"

"It's a baby goat, Mom."

Jonah stepped out just as the guys pulled out a gun.

"AW MUSTARD! HE'S GOT A GUN!" Gibby cried.

"NO DUH HE'S GOT A GUN!" Shane yelled back.

"Mom, I'll call you back," Freddie hung up his phone and tried to calm down the baby.

Shane drove off, and accidentally ran over the foot of the guy with the gun. So by accident, the gun went off and shot Jonah near the shoulder.

"FUCKIN' SHIT!" Shane yelled.

"HE SHOT JONAH! HE SHOT JONAH!" Freddie screamed.

"Screw this!" Shane backed up, hit the orange mustang, and crashed through the a glass booth right outside the chapel.

"Sssh," Freddie tried to calm down the baby again. "We're okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Smooth, calm, relaxed voices. Now….WHAT IS GOING ON?"

Shane was taking deep breath. "I don't know, man."

Freddie looked like he was having an asthma attack. His phone rang again.

"Why don't you let that one go to voicemail."

"HA-HA-HA," Freddie leaned back in his seat. "That was a fake laugh by the way."

* * *

So, even though we didn't meet her, we were introduced to Sam. I think we got a lot accomplished in this chapter. I wrote this as I was watching the parts in the Hangover so I think I'm staying true to the movie. Also, since obscenities are used in everyday life of teenagers, I'm gonna keep this rated T. Keep reading and try to review please. I like feedback. My fingers hurt, there'll be another chapter hopefully tomorrow, but don't hold me to it. Hope you liked this chapter.


	6. Not Up in Here

Mom picked us up from school early due to really, really bad weather so I decided to put up this chapter. Fret not, we'll be introduced to Sam, and the cops. We'll even name Carlos (I guarantee it won't be Tyler).

* * *

"This can't be where she lives," Freddie moaned. "This looks more like a motel."

"I think it is a motel," Shane answered. "Come on Gib,"

"Guys, you think she knows what happened to the car?" Gibby asked.

"Let's hope she knows where Griff is. Why are you so worried about Jeff's car?"

"Um, because it's Jeff's car. He loves it more than me."

"Who cares," Freddie slammed the door as he got out of the car.

"Yeah, who cares!" Gibby put the baby in the sling. "Besides, I've always wanted to ride in a police car."

"Does it matter if it's stolen?"

"Hey, it's a police car."

"Guys, let's just return the baby and ask her if she knows where Griff is," Shane looked at his piece of paper. "She lives in room 825."

"Is it possible to live in a motel?"

"I dunno. But I don't think it's a good idea to live in a motel with a baby."

"You know," Gibby decided to break the silence as they were walking, "this is kinda like that one movie."

"That narrows it down," Freddie groaned.

"It's got Ted Danson, and Magnum P.I., and that Jewish actor."

"This is it," Shane was about to knock on the door when it opened.

"No, don't call the cops, I found them," She hung up her cell phone and scooped up the baby. "Thank God he's with his father! Hey Sweetie!" She kissed her baby. "Mama missed you." She then gave a seductive look to Freddie. "Mama missed you too." Sam then proceeded to make out with him as both Shane and Gibby watched with jaws dropped. "What the hell happened to you guys?"

"Actually, we were hoping you could tell us," Shane responded.

"I dunno. I got up this morning to get you guys coffee, and you were gone." It was all quiet. "Why are you being so quiet?"

"I'm not being quiet," Freddie assumed it was directed towards him.

"You are so cute. I gotta feed Charlie, come on in." She took Freddie's hand and led him in.

Gibby and Shane were behind them. "You hear that?" Gibby asked. "Baby's name is Charlie."

Shane nodded. "I kinda liked Carlos better."

The guys took a seat on the couch next to Freddie. "Whaddya know," Shane looked around, "this is an apartment."

Sam was pouring the guys some iced tea. "What's up with you guys. You're acting weirder than usual."

"Listen…it's Sam right?"

"Very funny Shane."

"Alright, Sam. Do you remember our other friend Griffin?"

"Duh! He was the best man at the wedding."

"Well, we can't find him, and we're getting really worried."

"That is so like Griffin!"

Freddie spat out his tea, and the spit went onto Charlie. Charlie began to cry.

"Freddie, if you didn't like tea, I could've got some soda. I'm gonna clean off Charlie." Sam tried to quiet down Charlie. "It's okay, Daddy didn't mean it."

Freddie looked like he was having a panic attack and began rocking back and forth. "Oh my God!"

"What the hell man?" Shane questioned. "You gotta hold it together."

"Holy shit."

"Dude, she's super hot. You should be proud of yourself."

"She's wearing my grandmother's ring! The one my mother never takes off! My grandmother's Holocaust ring!"

"Oh shit."

Gibby looked at Freddie. "I didn't know they gave rings out at the Holocaust."

Sam came out of her room. "He's okay. He's just hungry, but he's fine."

"Good," Shane pulled out the paper and pen. "Sam, do you remember the last time you saw Griffin?"

"Not since the wedding."

"Okay, and what time was the wedding at?"

"Well, it was---" the guys became distracted as Sam prepared to breastfeed. "---I guess it was around one, because I had to go back to work and finish my shift." When Sam's breast was showing, Shane cleared his throat, Freddie perked up, and Gibby stared curiously fascinated. "As soon as that was done, I headed over to the hotel with Charlie."

Shane cleared his throat and tried to focus on the paper. "Was Griffin there then?"

"I didn't see him. You guys were passed out, and the room was a wreck!" Sam put on the same seductive look and directed it toward Freddie. "So I just curled up next to Freddie." She made a sexy growling noise.

"Question," Freddie raised his hand. "You said your shift ended. Does that mean you're a nurse? Or a blackjack dealer?"

She laughed. "You know this, I'm a stripper."

"Mm-hm." Freddie didn't seem so surprised now.

"Technically I'm an escort. Stripping is a great way to meet the clients."

"Smart," Shane commented.

"Savvy," Freddie sarcastically replied.

"Dude, it would be so awesome to breastfeed," Gibby added.

The other three stared at him in confusion and disgust.

"Anyway," Sam continued, "that's all in the past, now that I married a doctor."

Freddie shook his head. "I'm just a dental assistant."

Suddenly two cops burst through the door with their guns pointed at the three guys. "LAS VEGAS POLICE! FREEZE!" Charlie began crying.

"What did I do now?" Sam questioned.

"Not you---" the cop pointed at the three guys. "Them."

"Oh my God!"

"Holy shit!"

"I think I crapped my pants!"

...

The guys were handcuffed to each other and waited on some benches at the police station. They sat close to the end of the bench as Shane began to make a collect call. He got distracted as a policeman was acting as a tour guide to a group of children.

"After we take the mug shots, we bring them down here." The police officer pointed to the three. "Here they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers. Trust me kids you don't wanna be sitting on these benches. We call this spot Loserville."

The kids all laughed. At the end of the line was a blonde-haired fat kid. He pulled out his cell phone and took a picture. Since he was close to Gibby, Gibby was able to kick his cell phone out of his hands. The kid gave him a dirty look as he picked up his phone and followed the other kids.

Shane continued making the phone call.

Meanwhile, Carly was tanning near a pool with her best friend Missy. She answered her phone. "Hello."

"Carly, hey! It's Shane."

"Hey Shane. Where are you guys?"

"We are…at the hotel spa."

"Cool. Missy and I are getting some sun. Is Griffin around?"

"Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be? Where else could he be?" Whenever Shane got nervous or scared, he asked a lot of questions.

"I was just wondering why you were calling me."

"Um…..we made a deal. We're not talking to our girlfriends, wives, or mothers. So we're calling each other's."

"Cool," Carly believed it. "What's up?"

"You're not gonna believe this. We got comped an extra night at the hotel."

"Seriously? But the wedding is tomorrow."

"Don't worry. We're gonna get up real early and be back in plenty of time."

"Okay then. Are you sure that's a good idea."

"It's---"

"Maslow! Benson! Gibson! Room 3." A cop called to them.

"I gotta go. See you tomorrow!"

"Shane, wait---" he had hung up.

"What's going on?" Missy asked.

"He seems kinda drunk. Either that or he's doing something illegal."

"Should we tell his wife?"

"No. We gotta be well rested and looking fine for tomorrow."

...

Gibby, Shane, and Freddie were sitting next to each other as an effeminate looking cop entered the room, with a lady cop in huge glasses.

"Greetings gentlemen," he sat down. "I'm Officer Nevel Papperman, this is my partner Officer Schneider. We have good news, and bad news. Tasha, I hate good news, you tell them."

Tasha leaned forward. "Good news; your Mercedes has been found. It was picked up around five this morning in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard. It's now in the impound lot. A note was found that said, 'Couldn't Find a Meter, here's 4 bucks'. I used the money to buy Fadoodles."

"Now for the bad news," Nevel Papperman squealed with delight as he looked at his clipboard. "Shoot, it's not that bad. Anyway, we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday morning."

Freddie groaned and covered his face. Shane pounded the desk. Gibby winked at Tasha, who giggled in return.

"I also like Fadoodles," Gibby whispered. Tasha blew him a kiss.

"Officer, that's just impossible," Shane tried to explain. "We need to get back to San Diego for a wedding tomorrow."

"But you stole a police car," Tasha pointed at Shane.

"I stole the police car? Why would I steal a police car?"

"Um….Shane didn't steal anything," Freddie tried to lie. "He found it."

"So maybe he deserves an award or something," Gibby added. "Like a trophy."

"I see people like you everyday in Vegas," Nevel began. "You think it's funny to come here, get drunk off your asses, and steal my cop car," he leaned over at got in Shane's face. "NOT UP IN HERE!" He backed up. "You will rue the day."

"Rue the day?" Shane looked at the others, who shrugged. "Look, I'm not a cop, I'm no hero. I'm just a twenty-five year old middle school teacher with a wife and four year old son. However, if one of my students went missing on a field trip, it would look bad on me."

Nevel stared at him. "What are you getting at?"

Freddie had no idea either. "Yeah, Shane. What are you getting at?"

Shane cleared his throat. "No one wants to look bad. We have to be at a wedding tomorrow. And I'm sure you guys don't news to slip about how some obnoxious, drunk, possibly high, tourists 'borrowed' your police car." He put air quotes around "borrowed". "My point is, I think we can work something out. Discretely of course. What do you say?"

"There is something you can do for us." Nevel leaned back in his chair and cackled evilly. He then stopped. "Oh right," he groaned. "I'm obligated to ask if any of you gentlemen have a heart condition or something like that?"

"Nope."

"I don't think so."

He leaned back in his chair and cackled. "Your day for rueing is here."

Freddie and Shane exchanged nervous looks.

"So," Gibby looked romantically at Tasha, "is there a Mr. Officer Schneider?"

* * *

I love Gibby. Just to tease each other, me and my sister made up a name. We call each other Gibby-ho's. I could just see Nevel as a cop. Also, fret not. I have something in mind for Spencer. You can just wait to see what. I cackle evilly. HA! HA! HA! HA! Also, the baby's name is Charlie because I like the name Charlie. Please send me some feedback, reviews, or ideas.


	7. You Think I Knew It

I love snow days! Okay, I can definitely put up this chapter, but I don't know about any others. Truth be told right now I'm kinda tired and pissed that we have to wait til after the Olympics to watch a new "Death Comes to Town" because last night's episode was awesome, and had a cool cliffhanger. Anyway, please enjoy this next part, which includes my favorite, favorite, favorite scene from the movie. Did I mention it was my favorite scene?

* * *

Nevel and Tasha led them to a room in a different hallway. "Through here, gentlemen," Nevel evilly cackled.

Freddie went in first, followed by Shane, and Gibby. Before Gibby went in, Tasha stopped him.

"If you live through this, call me."

Gibby blew her a kiss and went into the room. Inside a bunch of kids were sitting at tables as the three guys stood up front.

"Good afternoon boys and girls," Nevel was both polite and creepy. "You're in for a special treat. These gentlemen have kindly volunteered demonstrating how a stun gun is used to subdue suspects. This device is also called a taser, when it's used to stun someone up close and personal."

"Wait what?"

"There's two ways to use a stun gun," Nevel went over to Freddie, who was looking at the other guys in confusion. "First is up close and personal." Without warning, Nevel tased Freddie's neck. Freddie screamed like a girl and fell to the floor as the kids laughed.

"What the fu---?"

"Or, you can shoot in from a distance. Do I have any volunteers?" All the kids, and the tour guide officer, raised their hands. "How about this lovely young lady in the red shirt? Wanna do some shooting?" A girl in pigtails and a red shirt came up to the front, and was handed the stun gun. Nevel turned to Shane and Gibby. "Let's go handsome." Gibby stepped forward. "Not you fatty, pretty boy." Nevel turned to the girl. "It's really simple. All you gotta do is point, aim, and shoot."

Shane tried to talk his way out of this. "You really don't wanna do this."

Nevel tried to convince the girl to shoot. "You can do it. Just focus."

"Don't listen to that maniac. Let's think this through. I'll give you 20 bucks not to do this."

"FINISH HIM!"

The girl shot the stun gun. Wires shot out, and hit Shane's crotch area. Shane immediately put his hands near his penis, and fell to his knees. He shook a little bit before falling to the ground.

Nevel begin to evilly cackle. "Right in the nuts! That was beautiful. Give this young lady a round of applause." The kids laughed and cheered. Gibby even clapped.

"We got one more charge left," Nevel said. "Who wants to do some shooting?" The kids, and the tour guide officer, raised their hands. One kid in particular, waited a few seconds later to raise his hand. Nevel noticed him. "Come on up big man."

The kid was the blonde haired fat boy whose phone Gibby kicked away. He slowly went up to the front, staring Gibby down with that same look he used when his phone was kicked away. Gibby stared at the kid with panic as he went to the front.

"Same instructions," Nevel continued. "Just point, aim, and shoot." The kid slowly aimed his gun near Gibby's head. "Ooh, I like the intensity. Eye of the tiger. You're holding 50,000 volts little man. Don't be afraid to ride the lightning."

The kid shot the gun, and wires came out and hit Gibby on his forehead between his eyes.

"IN THE FACE!" Nevel screamed. "IN THE FACE!"

Gibby was still standing through all this.

Nevel picked up the taser used to stun Freddie. "Relax. He just needs a little extra charge." Nevel tased Gibby in the same place he tased Freddie. Gibby landed on a table in the front where a boy and girl were sitting. "With some of these big boys, you gotta give 'em two shots." Nevel patted Gibby's ass. "Alright, who wants to get their fingerprints done?" All the kids raised their hands. "Come on, let's go."

...

After their ordeal, the three friends were taken to the impound lot.

"Screw those guys!" Freddie told them. "That was bullshit. I'm telling everyone we stole a cop car."

"They let us go," Shane responded. "Who cares?"

"I care! You can't just do that! You can't just tase people because you think it's funny. That's police brutality!" Freddie took a couple of deep breaths. "Thank God this place has a mini mart. I'm gonna get a soda. You guys want anything?"

Shane and Gibby shook their hands as Freddie entered the mini mart.

"Jesus, that guy never shuts up." Shane looked at Gibby, who was staring off at something. "Gib, you okay?"

"I'm just worried," Gibby answered. "What is something happened to Griffin? Something…you know….bad."

"Don't think like that Gib."

"What if he's dead. I can't afford to lose anybody close to me again. It hurts too much. I was so upset when my Grandpa died."

"Sorry man. How did he die?"

"Vietnam."

"He died in battle?"

"No, he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during Vietnam."

"If it was during Vietnam, how did you even meet him? You're twenty-four. Why am I still talking about that? Look, I guarantee Griff is fine."

"Why hasn't he called?"

"I dunno, but we'll figure it out."

"Hey guys," Freddie went over to where they were sitting. "6 to 1 odds our car is beat to sh---"

Freddie was interrupted by squealing tires. The Mercedes was surprisingly in perfect condition. "I stand corrected."

...

As they were driving down the road, they were also looking for clues.

"You guys find anything?" Shane wasn't the only one looking because he was driving.

Freddie was in the passenger seat. "I found a cigar."

"Here a some black shoes," Gibby handed Freddie the shoes.

"Women's shoes?" Shane asked.

"Nope," Freddie answered. "Men's size 6. Is that even possible?"

"I found a snakeskin," Gibby held up what he assumed was a snakeskin.

"No, it's---." Gibby accidentally dropped it on Freddie's shoulder. "EW!"

"Gibby," Shane began. "that's a used condom!"

Freddie flicked it back at Gibby. "It's wet!"

"I don't want it!" Gibby flicked it at Shane.

"I don't want jizz on me!" Shane pulled the car over, and threw the condom out the window. "Come on guys! We gotta get this together!"

All of a sudden, the guys heard pounding.

"Is there someone in the trunk?" Freddie asked.

Shane got excited. "It's Griff!" The three men ran out and opened the trunk screaming Griffin's name. Shane opened the trunk.

Much to their surprise, a tall, naked guy jumped on Shane, hitting him with a crowbar. Shane managed to get the guy off him. The guy then hit Freddie repeatedly with the crowbar. He then turned around and whacked Shane's face with the crowbar. Then it was the man and Gibby.

The naked, white guy did some karate moves and some the Japanese word for lamp, along with some other random Japanese words.

"I'M ON YOUR SIDE!" Gibby yelled. "I HATE GODZILLA!" Gibby tried to calm down. "This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants."

The guy threw the crowbar at Gibby's head and ran off toward the nearest hotel.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" Shane screamed.

"Somebody call 9-1-1. I think I have internal bleeding," Freddie cried.

"Who was that guy?"

"I dunno, but he was so mean!"

"Did he think he was Asian or something?"

As Shane and Freddie tried to stand up. Gibby looked at them. "I have a confession. Last night on the roof, before we went out, I slipped something in our drinks. I really fudged up."

"You drugged us?" Freddie asked.

"No, not intentionally. I was told it was ecstasy."

"Who the hell told you it was ecstasy?" Shane questioned.

"The guy I bought it from at the liquor store."

"Why would you give us ecstasy?" Freddie seemed really upset.

"I wanted everyone to have a good time. I knew you guys wouldn't take it. It was just one hit each. I used to do three hits a night."

Freddie stood up. "It wasn't ecstasy, Gibby! It was Roofies!"

"You think I knew it, Freddie? I didn't! The guy I bought it from seemed like a real straight shooter."

"You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn't a good guy?"

"Dude, Freddie, calm down," Shane said.

"You want me to calm down?" Freddie quietly laughed. "FUCK YOU! He fucking drugged us! Thanks to him I lost a tooth. I married a whore!"

"How dare you! She's a nice lady!" Gibby said.

"You are such a fucking moron!"

"Your language is offensive."

"FUCK YOU!"

"Freddie," Shane stood up. "take a deep breath. We don't want you vomiting again. This is a blessing in disguise okay. At least we know it wasn't a random stranger who drugged us for God knows what reason."

"Are you saying it's good we got drugged? I think our best friend Griffin is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth-head butt-fucking his corpse!"

"Freddie, take your inhaler. Let's just go back to the hotel and I'm gonna make a collect call. Some one has to know where Griffin is!"

"Shane, I've----we've looked everywhere. No one has seen Griffin."

"Maybe he's back at the hotel sleeping, or something. Stay positive. Come on, let's get going." Shane went back to the driver's side.

As Gibby tried to get up, Freddie opened the door, and the door hit Gibby's head. "Ow!"

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"You deserve that."

...

Shane, Freddie, and Gibby were quietly walking back to their suite. "Guys," Gibby began, "what about the tiger? What if it got out?"

"Shit," Shane stomped his foot. "I keep forgetting about the damn tiger. How did he even get in there?"

"I dunno," Freddie turned to Gibby, "because I don't remember."

"Because one of the side effects of roofies is memory loss," Gibby answered.

"You are literally too stupid to insult."

"Thanks."

Shane opened the door. In the background, the song "In the Air Tonight" was playing through the speakers. "Did we leave the music on?"

As they were walking near the living room area, Shane bumped into a large, black man. Shane backed up and Gibby backed up as Freddie screamed like a girl.

"Who are you?" Shane questioned.

"No, who the hell are you?" The man questioned back.

"Quiet, quiet," there was another man sitting at the piano. The man turned around and faced the three guys.

The three friends stared at him. "Mike Tyson?"

* * *

I'll stop there. I really have nothing else to say. Keep reading and reviewing.


	8. Dude, that was Mike Tyson

Okay yeah, I'm bored so I'll put another one up. My sis was reading this and she said that it was like practically true to the movie. My secret? I watch the parts of the movie I need to watch with the subtitles on to type this. If need be, I take some stuff out, add some crap, and try to make it a little more clean. When I watched this with my family, my gramma loved everything but the language. Same with my parents (sometimes old people have no idea of today's movies). So if you've never seen the Hangover, but you're reading this, it's like practically true to the movie. So that's why Mike Tyson's here.

* * *

"Quiet. This is my favorite part," Tyson pounded imaginary drums at the song's most unforgettable drum solo. "_I can feel it, coming in the air tonight." _He pointed to the guys. "Need a chorus line guys."

"_Oh Lord_," Gibby sang.

"_And I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life. _One more time guys."

"_Oh Lord!" _The guys sang.

Suddenly, Tyson punched Gibby and knocked him on the ground.

"Why did you do that?" Shane asked.

"Mr. Tyson wants to know why his tiger is in your bathroom," the other guy responded.

"Yeah, but that was completely unnecessary! He---"

"Explain."

Shane sighed. "We were drugged last night. We have no memory of what happened."

"It's true," Freddie added "We got into all kinds of trouble last night, and now we can't find our friend. And if you wanna kill us, go right ahead because I don't care anymore."

"Why the hell would you wanna steal Mr. Tyson's tiger?"

"We tend to do dumb crap when we're wasted," Shane answered.

"How did you guys even find us?" Freddie questioned.

"One of you idiots dropped your jacket. Found it in the tiger's cage this morning."

"That's Griffin's!"

"Sure, whatever. His wallet and his room key are in there."

"That's our missing friend!" Shane proclaimed.

"I don't give a damn."

"Did you guys see him?"

"I was fast asleep," Tyson answered. "Hey, maybe one of the tigers ate his ass. Like how that one ate Omar. Remember that Leonard?"

"Respect," Leonard took off his hat.

"What happened to Omar?" Shane asked.

"Don't worry about Omar," Tyson replied. "He's not with us no more."

"Look, Mr. Tyson, I know this is asking a lot, but do you think we could go to your house and look around for any clues?"

"Sure," Leonard answered. "How else do you think we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?"

"WHAT?"

"We're not gonna put it in the Bentley. You brought it here, you bring it back. We'll give you 40 minutes. An hour tops."

"Don't make me come back for him," Tyson added.

"Dude, that was Mike Tyson," Freddie was in awe.

"Yeah, no duh that was Mike Tyson," Shane responded.

"I'm just saying, he's still got it."

...

Around 5 minutes later, room service brought up a giant piece of steak. As Gibby was putting roofies in the steak, Shane and Freddie were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. Freddie lost.

"This is so unfair! Why can't Gibby do it?"

"Gibby took a punch from Mike Tyson. Come on, do this for Griff!"

"Alright. Gibby, why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper."

"Tigers love pepper," Gibby answered. "They hate cinnamon."

"Shane, come on. You do this for Griff!"

"Sorry, but you lost. It wouldn't be fair."

Gibby handed Freddie the steak. "I jammed five roofies in there. Go in and throw him the steak."

"Fine," Freddie groaned. He opened the bathroom door. Sure enough, the tiger was still there. "Here, kitty, kitty!" Freddie dangled the steak in front of him. "It's real important you eat this, okay. Just have a little---" The tiger growled and started toward Freddie. Freddie (once again) screamed like a girl and threw the steak at the tiger before running like a bat out of Hell. "What do we do now?"

"We wait," Shane answered.

"What do we do til then?" Gibby asked.

"I dunno. Let's just chill." Shane sat in a recliner, Gibby sat in the chair next to him, and Freddie sat at the piano, the same chicken was also there. He began to play.

"_What do tigers dream of,_

_When they take a little tiger snooze?_

_Do they dream of mauling zebras,_

_Or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?_

_Well don't you worry your pretty stripe-ed head,_

_We're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed._

_Then we'll find Griff, he's our best bud,_

_And then we're gonna give him a best bud hug._

_Griff! Griff! Oh, Griffin's our best bud._

_But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers…."_

The tiger groaned and fell to the floor with a thud.

"…_well then we're shit out of luck."_

_..._

Shane looked around as he opened the door. "Coast is clear."

Gibby and Freddie rolled out the tiger in a rolling cart. The tiger was covered in a giant white blanket. "By the way," Freddie began. "We're all gonna die."

Gibby covered up his snout.

"Try to keep quiet," Shane suggested.

As they were wheeling the tiger, a piece of the blanket fell on the floor. Gibby didn't see the blanket, so the end wheel got caught on it, and the cart (and the tiger) hit the wall.

"Gibby, sssh," Shane ordered.

"You just hit the tiger's nose."

"For your information Freddie, it's called a snout," Gibby replied.

"Like we care."

Shane pushed for the elevator. When it opened, he help Gibby and Freddie get the cart in the elevator.

A family also entered the elevator. "Try to get rid of them," Freddie whispered to Gibby.

"Should I take my shirt off?"

"Hello," the father said. "What'cha got under there?"

"A dead body," Gibby answered.

"Don't listen to our friend, he's not well in the head," Freddie observed. There was then a small growl under the sheet. "It's a tiger."

The family ran out screaming.

...

The ride to Tyson's was incredibly silent. The radio wasn't even playing.

"Hey guys, when's the next Halley's Comet?" Gibby broke the silence.

"Who cares," Shane responded.

"Do you know, Freddie?"

"Probably not for another 50 something years. Why?"

"I wanna ask Officer Tasha out. And I want it to be something special."

"So, why Halley's Comet?"

"My cousin told me it was the most awesome thing ever to see. So you sure it's not coming like next week or nothing?"

"No, I guarantee it's---"

The tiger, who had been sleeping in the backseat, was now awake, and it seemed kinda pissed. It growled.

"OH FUCK!' The guys shouted. They kept on screaming and trying to avoid the tiger. Which Shane really shouldn't have done because he was driving. The tiger kept roaring and swiping it's paw. Gibby and Freddie managed to miss the swipe, Shane wasn't so lucky. He managed to pull the car over and everyone got out.

"Freddie, Freddie, it frickin' got me!" Shane had his hand over his neck.

"Oh my God! You got clawed! You're bleeding!"

The tiger began to eat the seats of the Mercedes. When Gibby accidentally took a step forward, the tiger used it's back paw to brake the window. It then continued growling at the three friends.

"What do we do now?" Gibby asked.

...

The guys managed to push the car the extra mile to Tyson's mansion. Gibby had to put his hand on the steering wheel while Freddie and Shane were pushing the car from behind.

"You're late," Leonard observed when the guys rang the doorbell.

"Whatever dude. We had to push the car the last mile," Shane explained.

"Mr. Tyson has something to show you. Follow me." Leonard led them to the living room where Tyson was holding his pet dog.

"Good evening gentlemen," Tyson greeted. "When we got back we took a look at security cameras." He played the video.

Four guys were on a black and white video

"_This is how you walk," Shane was saying. "Like this." The other guys were laughing their asses off._

"It's Griffin!"

"Thank God, he's alive!"

"I'm on TV!"

"That's Griffin, he's our buddy."

"That's who we've been missing."

"We're all best friends."

"I don't have all night," Tyson said. "Would you just pay attention?"

The video now showed a pool. A shirtless Gibby appeared on screen.

"_Check it out!"_

"_Gibby, what are you doing?" Freddie had asked that._

"_Watch this." Gibby began peeing in the pool as the other guys laughed uncontrollably._

"_What're you doing man?" This time it was Griffin's voice._

"Really?" Shane looked at Gibby. "Really, Gib?"

"_You got a fire hose, man?" It was Griffin again._

Everyone was staring at Gibby. "I was uh----"

_Griffin was laughing too hard._

'_You're gonna overflow the pool man," Freddie had said._

"Should I wait outside?"

"I think that's a good idea, Gibby."

"Don't touch anything out there, either," Leonard ordered.

"Um, he's not our good friend," Freddie said. "We don't know him that well."

"Just watch the type," Tyson commanded.

This time, Shane was in front and he had the tiger on a leash. The cop car was out front.

"_Come on, come on!" It was Shane's voice._

"By the way," Tyson began, "where'd you get the cop car?"

"Oh, we stole it from some dumb ass cops," Freddie answered.

"Nice!" Tyson and Freddie high-fived each other.

The tape showed Shane putting the tiger in the cop car.

"I'd just like to say," Shane started, "I have never seen a more beautiful, elegant, just regal creature."

The video didn't back up what Shane said.

"_Check it out! Check it out!" He was humping the tiger. "Fuck this tiger!" The other three laughed. The tiger growled. "Oh shit."_

"Oh my God," Freddie groaned.

"That's just awful," Tyson commented. "Who does shit like that, man?"

Shane cleared his throat. "Someone with a lot of issues, obviously. I'm a sick man."

The video showed Freddie laughing on the ground while Gibby threw up on the cop car.

Leonard turned off the video. "That's all we got."

"This was hugely helpful," Freddie said. "We now know that Griffin was with at 3:30, totally alive."

"Thanks a lot, Mike," Shane thanked. "And again, we're sorry we stole your tiger."

"Don't worry about it, man." Tyson assured. "We all do dumb shit when we're fucked up." Everyone laughed.

...

"You know," Freddie began. "Everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he's kind of a sweetheart."

"I think he's mean," Gibby commented.

"I think it's officially time we called Carly," Shane said.

"Hallelujah!" Freddie exclaimed. "Shane, you finally say something that makes sense."

"We don't have much of a choice. Hey, maybe she heard from Griff. We need to be completely honest, and tell her everything."

"Not everything. We can leave out some stuff. Like me marrying a stripper. Just stay focused on Griff."

"What am I gonna tell Jeff about his Mercedes?" Gibby asked.

"Relax," Shane assured. "It's just the inside. I know a guy in L.A. who's great with interiors. It's not like---"

Another car had come from the side and hit them. The three friends were screaming as the car pushed them into a bar parking lot.

Out of the different car stepped a man in black shoes.

"Oh my God. That's the naked guy from the trunk," Freddie observed.

"The one who thinks he's Asian?" Gibby asked.

"Oh shit," Shane pointed to two guys behind the formerly naked guy. "Those are the guys who shot Jonah!"

* * *

DUN! DUN! DUN! Kinda cliffhangery (that's one of my words). Alright, I'm upset Death Comes to Town doesn't return until a fortnight (it said that on the show, it means two weeks). So I can keep focused on this, plus school. I'm thinking of doing something different. You know how at the end the guys have pictures of what they did? I was thinking I should have pictures and videos and put them in like story format like I did with the security video. I know I wanna come up with my own original epilogue too. I thought I should put the videos and pictures in like a previous chapter. Should I do that? Feedback is nice, ideas are welcome, and feel free to e-mail me chocolate (lol). By the way, I also do those imaginary drums to the drum solo in that song. It's fun to do.


	9. We are Back

Needed to take a day off to catch up with chemistry. Today, I finished auditions for Oz, chances are I won't get a part a lot of other kids were so much better. I'm kinda at a loss for words. I'll just get to the story.

* * *

"Get out of the car, please," the white guy tried to sound Asian, with no avail.

Before they had time to react, Shane, Freddie, and Gibby were forcibly pulled out of their car.

"I want my purse back, douche bags," the man ordered.

"Purse?" Shane looked at Freddie, who shrugged.

"That's not a purse!" Gibby responded. "It's a satchel."

"LIAR!" When the man yelled, he got up in Gibby's face, and sounded like a normal, white, angry guy. "And you steal from wrong guy," he was (once again) trying to be an Asian gangster.

"We stole from you?" Shane asked.

"We don't remember anything that happened last night," Freddie tried explaining. "Could you guys help us out a little?"

One of the associates (the one who had shot the gun at Jonah) stepped over to where the Asian gangster wannabe was standing. "Apparently you guys met Mr. Spencer at a craps table last night. Fatty over there was on a heater and Mr. Spencer played your hot streak. He ended up winning just under 80 grand."

"Gibby did? That's good."

"He put the chips in his purse," the associate continued, "and then you guys took off it."

"That's…not good"

Mr. Spencer looked angry. "Mine, had $80,000 inside. This one….nothing!" He dropped the bag and stomped on it.

"HEY!" Gibby yelled. "There are Skittles in there!"

The other associate socked Gibby in the stomach, and pushed him. Mr. Spencer was laughing. "It's funny because he's fat."

"This was a simple misunderstanding," Shane said. "Gibby picked up the wrong purse. It's no big deal."

"If it is 'no big deal'," Mr. Spencer put air quotes around those, "why, when I come after you guys, you start screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk?"

"I did that?"

The main associate nodded. "You said he was your lucky charm and you wanted to take him home with you."

"Now he thinks he's a leprechaun?" Gibby asked.

The second associate flicked Gibby's head.

"If you want to see your friend again," Mr. Spencer began, "you get me my 80 grand."

The main associate opened the car door and pulled out a man with a bag over his head, clearly a hostage.

"HE'S GOT GRIFF!"

Mr. Spencer did a fake yawn. "Boring. Come, we go take nap."

"WAIT!"

Freddie stopped the car. "You're not going anywhere, STOP!" He stood directly in front of the car. "Run me over."

Shane grabbed Freddie out of the way and went to the passenger side. "What do you want us to do?"

"Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn."

"WHAT?"

"Toodle-oo, douche bags." The car drove off.

"AT LEAST TAKE THE BAG OFF HIS HEAD!" Freddie screamed.

...

Once they were back at their suite, the three friends ripped the place apart searching for Mr. Spencer's purse.

"I'm telling you, I looked for it this morning before we left," Gibby said. "It's not anywhere. And now, I don't have skittles!"

"CRAP!" Shane knocked over some dishes. He took a deep breath. "Freddie, how much you got in the bank?"

"About 10 grand, maybe more. I was gonna use it to move out, now I gotta use it to replace my grandmother's ring."

"You're married, move in with Sam. And don't worry about your mother."

"Yeah," Gibby commented. "Griffin told me she had sex with a pilot or something."

Freddie sighed. "It was a bartender on a cruise." He looked over at Gibby, who was looking under the couch cushions. Gibby was eating pizza. "Gibby, did you just eat sofa pizza?"

"Yeah. Somebody destroyed my skittles!"

"Let it go," Shane parted his hair back. "We are so screwed."

"Hey prudes," Gibby held up something thin and green. "Look what I found."

"What's that?"

"My blackjack book. I'm thinking I play some blackjack. But I'll need some money to start."

Freddie sighed again. "I'll give you what's in my account. Provided if you win more than 80 grand, I get a bigger cut."

"Fair enough. Shane, I need a spotter. Someone to watch out for pit bosses and crap. Freddie, you could pretend to be someone I don't know. I'll give you signals when to hit and what not."

"For once Gib," Shane began, "something you say makes sense."

"Here," Freddie handed Shane his ATM card. "You can make the deposit. My pin number is 7469." Freddie grabbed his jacket.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll see you guys at the table. I got something to do first."

...

Gibby and Shane rode down the escalator with a smug look of self satisfaction. Both guys were wearing snappy suits, Gibby had his hair gelled back. Once they sat down at the table and started playing, Gibby became the Rain Man of card counting. Everything came natural to him.

Freddie arrived a few moments later, also dressed in a snappy suit, with a special guest. "Are these seats taken?" He asked the dealer. The dealer shook his head and gestured for them to sit down. He pulled the second chair out. "Let me get that for you, honey."

"Thanks babe," Sam took a drink. "Let's play some blackjack!"

Gibby had simple signals. Subtle hand gestures, putting on chapstick every now and then. Most times he would win, other times he let Freddie and Sam win. Sometimes to keep up appearances, Freddie and Sam would make out so people's attention would go to them, to draw less suspicion on Gibby.

Shane however…..not so much. He was screaming things like, "Shut up bitches!" and "Screw you!" and "He can't lose!". Not to mention flipping off the security cameras. Though he was a little drunk. It seemed a few security was noticing Gibby's game.

Sam leaned on Freddie, to cause less suspicion. "I think the pit boss is watching."

"Cause a distraction so Gibby can leave. Something more better than making out, preferably."

"Got one. I'll go on Gibby's next win. Give him a signal to leave." She pretended to laugh.

As soon as the pit boss started walking, Sam started laughing a little harder. When he got nearer, she fell over in her chair laughing. Freddie knew what was going on, but pretended to be concerned. He double blinked at Gibby before kneeling down next to Sam. "Uh….oh my God!" He shouted.

The pit boss came over to help. "You okay?"

Sam was still laughing. "I'm a total klutz, and I get so nervous when I gamble. God, I'm stupid!'

"It happens," he tried to lift her up.

"Woah!" Freddie stopped him. "Hold on a….beat, okay. Just take it easy, this is my wife."

Sam moaned. "It's hurting."

"What hurts? You alright?"

"I don't know," she whined.

"I don't know either." He pretended to look around. "I think you're fine. We should go home and rest. You've had a little too much to drink." Freddie took their chips. "Thanks, buddy. Here's a few chips for you."

Freddie and Sam pretended to walk off together. "Thanks a lot," he gave her a $20 bill. "You should get back to work."

...

As they drove to the big rock later, Freddie counted the money. "In total, it's $82,400."

"WOO-HOO!" Shane honked on the horn in celebration. "Gibby, you're the man!"

"So are you Shane!" Gibby commented.

"We should come back next week, take the whole city down."

"Or," Freddie began, "we can focus on getting Griffin back."

"I can't come next week," Gibby responded. "The Jonas Brothers are in town. Any week after that is fine though."

"Anyway," Shane decided to get back on topic. "it's safe to say our luck has officially turned around, guys. We are frickin' back, baby!"

"WE ARE BACK!" Freddie shouted in sing-song out the window. "WE ARE BACK! AND WE'RE GETTING GRIFFIN BACK!"

Gibby decided to sing too.

"_And we're the three best friends that anybody could have"_

_We're the three best friends that anyone could have_

_We're the three best friends that anyone could have_

_And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever leave each other_

_We're the best three friends that anybody could have_

_I mean the three best friends that anybody could have_

_That's right, the three best friends that anybody can have_

_And we'll----"_

"Gibby," Freddie interrupted. "I mean this in the nicest way I can. Shut the fuck up."

* * *

Okay that one's shorter. The next one will be shorter too. By the way, Spencer is Mr. Chow, but I decided to have him go by the name Mr. Spencer. Also, let me say this on record, I hate the Jonas Brothers (and Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, Selena & Demi, Disney's Channel's gone way down hill) no offense to anyone who likes these people. And just to piss more people off, I'm not really a fan of Lady Gaga, in fact my friends and I think Lady Gaga is a drag queen. No offense to Lady Gaga fans either, this is my opinion. So back on topic, I didn't put the Jonas Brothers in there because I wanted to, it was because that was what Alan said in the movie and I found it funny a fat grownup likes the Jonas Brothers. Feedback, ideas, comments, should I include original videos of what happened in Vegas at the end? Stuff likes this. I'll post the other one tomorrow because I've got mid-winter break (I also get Monday & Tuesday off) and try to get this done by next Friday at the latest. Notice my Simpson reference

"7469! Wait that's my pin number. Everybody forget that!"--Homer Simpson: episode "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"


	10. I Know Where Griffin Is

Geez, who woulda thought my totally off topic rant would be longer than the chapter? This one will be short. I will try to incorporate as much as I can but I just want to establish the deal between the "three best friends" and Mr. Spencer. They are so much closer to getting Griffin back. Something has to go wrong, right? Oh yeah, to put up original videos and pictures of the night they can't remember. I'll do it before my original epilogue (I always put original epilogues when I make movie fanfics).

* * *

Mr. Spencer waited patiently in his car as the three friends came to the rock. When they parked in front of him, nothing happened.

"Why is still in his car?" Shane asked.

"Give him the signal," Gibby responded.

"What signal? No one told me about any signal."

"Flash your lights, let him know the deal's on."

"Of course the deal's on. We drove 30 miles into the desert. He knows it's on."

"You gotta do something!"

"Screw this," Freddie leaned over and flashed the lights.

Mr. Spencer and his associates stepped out of the car.

"Alright, let's go." Shane opened the damaged driver's door.

Since Mr. Spencer's car crashed into the passenger side, the passenger doors would not open. The window was also smashed wide open. Freddie climbed out the passenger window with the bag of cash. Gibby followed, but as he got out, he fell.

Mr. Spencer found this hilarious. "Funny fat guy fall on face."

Shane stepped forward. "We got the money, 80 grand. Cash."

"Throw it over. Then I give you your friend."

"First of all," Freddie stepped next to Shane, "good morning. It's Mr. Spencer is it?"

"Spencer Chow."

"Okay. My name is Freddie. Before we throw you the money, we would like to see Griffin. You know, to verify he's okay. If it's cool."

"Of course, nerd. That's cool." He clapped his hand, yelled something in Asian, and the second associate pulled the hostage out of the car. "He fine. Now, give me money, or I shoot him, then I shoot all you douche bags. Your choice bitches." Freddie tossed him the money.

Mr. Spencer handed it to the main associate, who counted it. "It's all there."

"Let him go!" Mr. Spencer called to the other associate.

The other associate dragged the hostage over to the other guys.

"Go easy on him, please," Shane suggested.

The associate pulled off the bag. "Ta-da!" Mr. Spencer cried.

"This is a joke! Who the hell is this? That's not Griff!"

"What you talking bout, Willis? That him."

"Mr. Spencer, that is not our friend," Freddie said.

"The Griffin we're looking for is a white," Gibby added.

The associate pulled the tape off the black guy's mouth.

"I told you, you had the wrong guy." The guy went over to Gibby. "Damn, Gibby. What the hell did you get me into?"

"Gib," Shane turned towards Gibby. "you know this guy?"

"Yeah. This is the guy who sold me the bad drugs. How you doing?"

"He's the one who sold you the Ruphylin?" Freddie questioned.

"Say what?" The guy asked.

"WHO GIVES A SHIT!" Shane got in Mr. Spencer's face. "Where is Griffin?"

"I am Griffin!" The black guy replied.

Gibby laughed. "Your name's Griffin?"

"Griffin's my last name. Ain't no one gonna know my first name."

"His name's Griffin too," Gibby kept laughing. "Classic mix-up."

"Come on," Mr. Spencer gestured for his associates to leave.

"No!" Shane screamed at him. "You gave us the wrong Griffin!"

"Not my problem."

"You give us our 80 grand back, and take him with you!"

"No. Come on, I'll be your Griffin," Griffin begged.

"You want me take him back?" Mr. Spencer asked. "Okay, yeah. I take him back…..after you suck on these Chinese nuts!" He pointed to his crotch area.

"I thought he thought he was Japanese," Gibby commented.

"So long, gay boys!" Mr. Spencer left.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Shane kicked the sand.

"GOSH DARN IT!" Gibby did the same thing.

"SHIT!"

"SHOOT!"

...

Shane went across the street alone to call Carly while the other three guys waited by the car.

"Hello?"

"Carly, it's Shane."

"Thank God! I've been trying to reach you guys for hours. I'm freaking out!"

"We've been……we kinda, sorta…we---"

"Shane, what's going on? Where are you guys?"

"Listen, uh we got really messed up last night and…..long story short, we've looked everywhere in Vegas. We lost Griffin."

"What? Shane, you do realize we're getting married in five hours!"

"Yeah…..that's not gonna happen."

...

As Shane's phone conversation with Carly was transpiring, the other three guys were having a conversation of their own.

"I got a question for you," Freddie turned to Griffin. "How did you wind up in Mr. Spencer's car?"

"That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday."

"We get that he kidnapped you. But, why? Why you?"

"He thought I was you guys because we were hanging out at the Bellagio."

"You were at the Bellagio with us?" Gibby asked.

"We were all shooting craps. You don't remember?"

Freddie sarcastically laughed. "No, no we don't remember. You wanna know why?" Because some dickhead drug dealer sold Gibby Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy."

"Why do you keep saying that word? Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?"

"Wow, you are the world's shittiest drug dealer. Ruphylin, for your information, is the date-rape drug. You sold Gibby roofies."

"Oh crap. I must've mixed up the bags. My bad, Gibby. Rodney's gonna be pissed at me for that one."

"Like we care."

"Just the other day Rodney and I were wondering why the even call the roofies. You know what I'm saying?"

"No, I don't know what you're saying."

"Why not call 'em floories, right? 'Cause when you take 'em, you're more likely to wind up on the floor than the roof. I think groundies is a good name for 'em. You think so too?"

"Or, how bout rapies?" Gibby added.

"Hold on, " Freddie interrupted. "What did you just say?"

"Rapies."

"Not you, Gibby. Griffin."

"I said groundies."

"Before that."

...

"…that's not gonna happen," Shane was talking to Carly. "So listen we---"

Shane was tackled to the ground by Freddie.

"Shane? Shane? Hello?"

"Carly, it's Freddie!"

"Freddie, talk to me. What's going on."

"Nothing. Don't listen to Shane, he's out of his mind. To be honest I think he's probably drunk from last night."

"Where's Griffin?"

"Griffin's paying the bill for me. We had a nice brunch and we're in a hurry to get back, so we gotta get going. See you soon, bye."

"Freddie! Freddie!" Too late, Freddie had hung up.

"What the hell, man?" Shane struggled to get up. "You can't just tackle people to the ground. What's---"

"I KNOW WHERE GRIFFIN IS!"

"What?"

"Remember when we saw Griffin's mattress impaled on the statue?"

"Yeah, we threw it out."

"Impossible. You can't open windows in Vegas hotels."

"Then how did---"

"Remember eighth grade summer camp. We moved his sleeping back out in the jetty at the lake, as a prank."

"What are you saying now?" Shane took a brief pause before it hit him. "OH MY GOD!"

"Yeah. Of course this time it's not so funny because we forgot where we put him."

"How did you figure it out?"

"Griffin."

"Griffin?"

"Black Griffin. He said something, and then it just hit me."

Gibby and Griffin ran over to Shane and Freddie. "What's going on, crackas?" Gibby asked. He turned to Griffin. "Like that?"

"Close enough, cracka."

"Gibby, I know where Griffin is!" Freddie exclaimed.

"I'm right here."

"Not you. I'm talking about white Griffin."

"You think he's still there, Freddie?" Shane asked.

Freddie smiled a big, missing tooth smile. "There's only one way to find out."

* * *

Yeah, this one is definitely much shorter. By the way, Rodney is a reference to Rip-Off Rodney from the earlier iCarly episodes. So I decided in the next chapter, they'll get Griffin and take him home. For people who seen the Hangover, or can figure it out from context clues, you know where Griffin is. I took out the scene where they're in the car and they give away the answer to where Griffin is so we can officially find out in the next chapter. Feedback, ideas, comments, are welcome. Oh, and I apologize if it sounded like I was being racist, I wasn't trying on purpose.


	11. It's a Long, Possibly Painful Story

YAY! My fanfic is loved! You guys have asked me to keep seddie together, I'll let part of my secret spill. I plan to keep them together, but not married. She returns in this chapter and the epilogue for sure. But you guys know nothing. I don't know if it'll be my longest chapter, but I'm gonna include them (finally) finding Griffin and the wedding. The next chapter will be the pics and videos, and finally the epilogue. Also, since I appear to be a good writer of movies done icarly style, send me some ideas for a new fanfic. If I haven't seen the movie, I'll try to watch it. If I have seen the movie, it makes it so much easier (especially if I own the movie). I like challenges, so send me a challenging movie. So, the moment we've been waiting for since chapter 4, we're gonna find Griffin! We'll also find out who Shane's wife is (you guys forget Shane was married?).

* * *

Shane burst open the doors that led to the roof of Caesars Palace. Freddie came running behind him, Gibby put the wedge down, and helped look for Griffin. They all were calling his name, and getting no response.

"GUYS, HE'S OVER HERE!" Freddie shouted. He ran over to a figure trying to sit in the shade. "HE'S ALIVE!" Gibby and Shane ran over towards Freddie and Griffin. "YOU'RE OKAY!" Griffin was completely red. "Come on, bud, we gotta go. We've been looking everywhere for you."

"What the hell is going on?" Griffin asked.

"We'll explain later. Right now, we gotta go."

"Hey, bud," Shane began, "you okay?"

"No, not okay," Griffin answered. "I'm getting married today."

"You look good. You got some color, I'm jealous. Listen, you need to focus and do everything we say because frankly, you're kinda wasting a bit of time."

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Griffin lunged for Shane, knocking him to the ground. He quickly retreated in pain however. "Skin burns! Skin burns!" Gibby touched Griffin's hand trying to help him up. "Don't touch me!" Freddie and Gibby looked at him. "Just get me home."

"How we supposed to get you home if we can't touch you?" Gibby asked.

"Shut up, Gibby. Just get me home."

...

"Crap! All flights to San Diego are booked," Freddie stomped his foot.

"We can't drive there," Shane protested. "The wedding's in three and a half hours!"

"We can make it okay!" Freddie looked over and noticed Sam sitting on a bench. "Guys, can you give me a minute?"

"Hurry up or we will leave without you." Freddie ran over to Sam.

Griffin was sitting in a wheelchair with a giant sun hat on his head. He was squinting. "Is he missing a tooth?"

Freddie went over to Sam. "Hey, thanks for helping out last night, that was totally awesome."

"Yeah, it was fun," She replied.

"Listen, Sam, I---"

"You don't have to say it, I totally understand. This whole thing was stupid."

"It was stupid wasn't it?"

She nodded. "I think this belongs to you," She handed Freddie the ring.

"Keep it."

"Really? You gave this expensive looking ring to a complete stranger and you're not gonna take it back? Isn't this like a Holocaust ring your mom wears?"

"Yeah. But, I want you to keep it to remember me, just try not to pawn it." He sighed. "What was I thinking last night?'

"You were fucked up. You had to have been to pull out your own tooth."

"I pulled out my tooth? Why did I pull out my own tooth?"

"Gibby bet you weren't good enough to work in dentistry unless you could pull out your own tooth."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You won. He owes you 50 bucks."

"Clearly," he pointed to his tooth. "Victory." They glanced over to see Shane jumping on the back of the car. "I should go."

"Yeah. Try not to get wasted on the way back."

He laughed. "Hey, what're you doing next weekend?"

"I dunno, working. Why?"

"I was thinking maybe I'd come back and take you out to dinner or something. Like a date. One that I'll hopefully remember."

"Sounds awesome."

"FREDDIE!" Shane yelled.

"FREDDIE!" Gibby copied.

"COME ON!"

"COME ON!"

"I gotta go," Freddie told her.

"Bye," she gave him a hug.

"I think you can do better than that," He gave her a passionate kiss goodbye. "See you next weekend."

...

With Shane driving as fast as he could without being pulled over, it seemed they were making good time on what should be a 5-7 hour drive.

"At least the trip wasn't a total disaster," Griffin said.

"What makes you say that? A wannabe Asian didn't crush your skittles!"

"Get over it Gibby," Freddie told him. "Why wasn't it a disaster?"

"When I woke up on the roof, I happened to find $80,000 worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket. Looks like we're going home with some money boys."

All the friends were cheering.

"Guys, what about tuxes?" Freddie asked.

"Taken care of," Gibby pointed to an upcoming white van. "'Sup, Chuck!"

"'Sup, Gib! He tossed two wrapped tuxedos to Freddie. "Car!" Shane drove to the side to let the car passed, and returned to where they were originally driving. Chuck tossed another two wrapped tuxedos to Freddie and gave him a high five. "Page me, Gib!" He closed the van door.

While the guys were changing somewhere on the side of the road, Carly was watching for Griffin. Everyone in San Diego was ready for the wedding. It seemed they were about to give up waiting when they heard tires squeal.

All four of the guys entered in their tuxedos looking very clean. Gibby had put on make up to cover the bruise from being punched by Mike Tyson, Shane had his collar up so no one could see the claw marks, Freddie tried not to smile as much, but Griffin was still beet red. "MapQuest took us on some crazy route," Freddie lied.

...

As the flower girl walked down the aisle, the four friends took their place at the altar standing across from Carly's maid of honor (Missy) and bridesmaids. Shane was the best man while Freddie and Gibby stood behind Shane as groomsmen.

The guys were trying to put their flowers on as Jeff and Carly stood at the end of the altar.

"Freddie," Gibby whispered, "how's my hair?"

"Looks, good."

"It's cool like Shane's?"

"Classic Shane."

"Awesome!"

When Jeff and Carly made it to the altar, Carly kissed her father and took her place next to Griffin. As a sign of respect, Griffin hugged his soon-to-be father-in-law. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Vegas," Jeff responded. He sat down next to his wife (Gibby's mom).

Griffin stood next to Carly. "Griffin," she sounded upset. "Where were you? And why are you so red?"

"Carly, it's a long, possibly painful story."

"Possibly painful?"

"Honey, all I know is I am so sorry. I promise for as long as we're married, I will never lie, or put you through anything like this again. Can you forgive me?"

She smiled and held his hand. "We're getting married aren't we?"

...

The reception was held in the backyard too. When it was over, people headed to the dance floor where The Dan Band was singing "Candy Shop" Older people were not amused by the song lyrics and content. Especially when Dan included some gestures.

Three people not at the dance floor, were the three friends. Shane had decided to surprise his wife.

"Tony, what did you get on your---" Wendy stopped talking to her son when someone grabbed her lower back.

"Hey baby!" Shane took his wife in his arms and gave her one of the most romantic kisses ever.

"Daddy!" Tony shouted.

"Hey my man." Shane set his wife down and tousled his son's hair.

"Excuse me," Wendy began, "but I was expecting my husband any minute."

"Oh that's so funny I forgot to laugh." He picked up his son. "Hey how was your weekend?"

"Daddy, what's pregnant mean?"

Shane looked at his wife, who smiled. "Daddy will explain when your older. You hungry?"

"YEAH!"

He waited for Wendy to sit down next to him. "You use the four year old to tell me we're gonna have another baby."

"I thought it was cute," Wendy answered.

"Okay, yeah it was kinda cute. Props for cuteness." He gave his wife another kiss.

...

Freddie and Gibby were standing at a table near where Shane and his family were sitting. They were just having an ordinary conversation when Freddie's mother came storming in.

"Fredward Benson, are you avoiding your mother?"

"Hey Mom."

"Freddie, what happened to your tooth?"

"Mom, have you met Gibby? Carly's stepbrother. So he's kinda the brother of the bri---"

Marissa examined her son's mouth. "That is disgusting! And why haven't you returned any of Mommy's calls?"

"Mommy? I haven't called you that since I was in third---"

"I checked the credit card info, and it was clearly not in a Carson City hotel."

"We didn't go to Carson City," Freddie was about to tell his mom the truth. "We went to Las Vegas."

"Why would you go to Las Vegas?" Marissa gasped. "I bet you didn't gel your hair or wear those antibacterial briefs."

"My friend was getting married. Guys go to bachelor parties."

"That's not what you do, Fredward Benson!" Marissa was getting louder.

"Really?" Freddie was also getting louder. "Then why did I do it? Huh Mom? Because I did it! Riddle me that!" At this point everyone was staring. "Why'd I do it? Mom, all you want me to do is what you want me to do. I have no life with you. I'm sick of this. So guess what, I'm moving out. And guess what, I didn't wear that antibacterial underwear, I didn't gel my hair, and I gave your ring to a woman I really, really like. And if I'm being honest you're a terrible mother. And since I'm moving out, I can say whatever I want to you. Shane," He called over to Shane, "block Tony's ears." Shane happily obliged as Freddie started shouting every word he was never allowed to say to his mother.

"When did all this terrible mother business start?" That was all Marissa could say.

"You've always been a terrible mother."

"I can no longer trust you Fredward."

"I don't care. I stopped trusting you when you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June. BAM!

It was silent. "I thought it was a bartender," Gibby corrected.

"My bad, Gib. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender." The song changed. Freddie ran out to the dance floor next to Griffin. Shane joined them a few seconds later.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Benson," Gibby said. "I'm thinking of getting my bartender's license."

"Fuck off fat boy!" Mrs. Benson stormed off in anger.

...

When the sun went down, the reception was winding down. But on the deck, Griffin, Freddie, and Shane---who was holding his son--- were sitting in patio chairs with small glasses of wine.

"What a day," Griffin took a deep breath.

"It was a gorgeous wedding, Griff," Freddie commented.

"I give it six months," Shane said.

"You're a dick."

"I dunno what to say," Griffin continued. "Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess."

"I just wish we could actually remember some of it," Shane added.

Gibby came over to the deck. "Look what I found lodged in the back seat of the car."

"My camera," Freddie took his camera. "It's full. There's stuff on here."

"Yeah, pictures and videos. Some of it's even worse than we thought."

"No frickin' way. Give me the camera." Shane gestured for Freddie to hand him the camera.

Griffin stood up and took the camera. "I suggest we look at all this stuff together okay. One time. Then we delete the evidence."

"I say we delete now," Freddie suggested.

"Are you nuts?" Shane asked him. "I wanna find out what we did, and why I wound up in the hospital. Is that in there?"

Gibby laughed. "Yeah, it's in there."

"Guys," Griffin put out his hand, "one time. Deal?"

The other three put their hands on top of Griffin's. "Deal," they said simultaneously.

It took a couple of seconds for Griffin to pull up the pictures. He made sure it was held up so everyone could see.

"OH!" All of their jaws dropped.

"Oh dear Lord" Freddie exclaimed.

"That's classic!" Gibby laughed.

* * *

Decided to keep the same movie ending in this chapter. The next chapter will be some photo descriptions and videos (which I will create myself). Some videos will include Freddie pulling out his own tooth, his wedding, Shane in the hospital, stealing Tyson's tiger, stealing the cop car, putting Griffin on the roof, things like that. By the way, I felt in the movie Phil's wife didn't really have much of a part so I added that whole deal myself. That Chuck is also supposed to be a teenage version of Chuck Chambers (Spencer's nemesis). Feedback, comments, more video or picture ideas, epilogue ideas as well, movie suggestions feel free to suggest some.


	12. I Wish We Didn't Find Out that Way

This chapter is kinda original. This is what was found on the camera. Unlike the movie, which just had pictures, I have videos too. The videos might explain some stuff in the story. The guys are gonna look at pictures first, then videos. There will be dialogue, but so I don't always have to specify who…..

Shane: S

Freddie: **F**

Griffin: G

Gibby: **G**

I would've done like underlining and stuff for characters, but the thing kept screwing up.

Italic dialogues mean that it's a video playing. Italic underlines are pictures The key just makes my life a little more easier. I decided to try not to use the pics from the movie, I'm gonna use a couple though. This part is kinda original like I said, but the epilogue is all original. btw, Happy Valentine's Day to the single, lonely losers (like myself). Enjoy stuffing your face w/ chocolate.

* * *

_Picture 1_: The four friends are standing outside of a limo looking somewhat normal.

_Picture 2_: A shirtless Gibby is licking the male chauffer's face.

_Picture 3_: A bunch of naked women are sitting in the limo with Shane, Griffin, and Gibby.

...

G: "Isn't that the receptionist from the night we checked in?"

...

_Picture 4:_ The boys are doing some weird poses in front of the Bellagio.

_Picture 5:_ Gibby is still shirtless playing craps, Mr. Spencer is giving him a cheek kiss.

_Picture 6:_ Gibby is laying on the craps table sucking his thumb as Shane flips off the camera.

_Picture 7:_ Griffin is making out with the receptionist

_Picture 8:_ Freddie drinking a bottle of wine outside of a strip club

_Picture 9:_ Freddie is throwing up the wine outside the strip club.

_Picture 10:_ A topless woman is doing the spread eagle near Shane.

_Picture 11:_ Griffin is making out with that topless woman.

...

S: "Dude, Carly would kill you!"

...

_Picture 12:_ Shane is nearly naked and on top of the topless woman as Griffin laughs into the camera.

...

**F: "You would be deader than dead if Wendy saw that."**

**G: **"**I don't get it"**

**F: **"**Shut up, Gibby."**

...

_Picture 13: _Sam is pole dancing as Freddie has an eyebrow raised to the camera.

_Picture 14: _Sam and Freddie are making out. Gibby is in the background picking his nose.

_Picture 15: _Freddie's mouth is open, and blood is all over. He has clearly pulled out his tooth. Sam looks a little disgusted, Gibby's got a "rock on" sign to the camera.

_Picture 16: _Shane's ass is showing as he is changing into the blue polyester suit.

...

**G: **"**Nice ass Shane."**

S: "Gib, please don't ever say that to me again."

...

_Picture 17:_ Gibby and Griffin are dressing Charlie in a dress.

_Picture 18: _Shane is holding Charlie, who is now dressed in a similar blue polyester suit for babies.

_Picture 19:_All the guys are in their blue polyester suits. Gibby's suit isn't buttoned up at the top.

_Picture 20: _Shane, Freddie, and Griffin are holding Sam.

_Picture 21:_ Shane, Freddie, and Griffin are struggling to hold Gibby.

_Picture 22: _The guys are again somewhat normal as they pose side by side in their suits.

...

G: "I think that's actually a good picture."

S: "Yeah, we're sorta, kinda, normal."

**F: **"**Let's just hope Jonah doesn't put wedding pictures on the internet."**

...

_Picture 23:_ The guys are at Caesars Palace. Freddie is standing behind Carrot Top.

_Picture 24: _Carrot Top looks a little creeped out as Shane and Griffin start to groom his fro. Freddie is also whispering something in his ear.

_Picture 25: _Gibby is once again shirtless and peeing in the Caesars Palace fountain.

_Picture 26: _Freddie has punched Wayne Newton in the face.

...

**F: "Did I just seriously punch Wayne Newton?"**

S: "I gotta say Freddie, you are awesome, when you're fucked up!"

G: "Yeah, I agree."

**G: "Wayne Newton probably had it coming."**

...

_Picture 27:_ Mike Tyson is in bed with a blonde haired woman while Shane is making weird faces to the camera.

_Picture 28:_ Griffin is riding Tyson's tiger

_Picture 29: _Shane is unconscious as he lays in a hospital bed with bandages around his forehead. Freddie and Gibby are doing "rock on" signs to the camera.

_Picture 30: _Shane is conscious and also does the "rock on" signs.

_Picture 31_: Griffin is asleep on his mattress, which is now on the roof.

_Picture 32: _Gibby is pretending to hump Griffin.

...

G: "Gibby, maybe you should get tested for mental problems."

**G: "I've got tested like 30 times already."**

**F: "Maybe 31 times wouldn't hurt."**

G: "I think these are all the pictures."

S: "Really?"

G: "Should we look at the videos now?"

**F: "The more better question is, do we want to look at the videos now?"**

...

_The camera is on Freddie, Shane, and Griffin._

G: "_Gib---Gib---dude, hold the camera still"_

**G: "_Okay, go ahead guys."_**

G: "_I'm Superman!"_

**F: "_I'm John Wayne."_**

S: "_I'm the guy off the Burger King commercials with the tiny hands."_

G: "_Ha, ha. Shane's hands are tiny."_

**F: "_Ha. Like his penis."_**

S: "_How would you know that?"_

**F: "_Gib---Gib---that guy with the camera told me."_**

S: "_Yeah, my penis is small. Who's got the bigger one?"_

G: "_There's only one way to find out. Fred---Fred--um, dude, pull your pants down."_

_Griffin and Freddie pulled their pants down and put their penises to the camera._

S: "_Freddie's got the bigger wang."_

**G: "_What about me?"_**

_The camera went onto Gibby's penis._

S: "_Gibby, that's a huge cock!"_

**F: "_I think that Gibby wins."_**

...

S: "Gibby, I had no idea you had a huge penis."

G: "I kinda wish we didn't know that."

**F: "I wish we didn't find out that way."**

**G: "You guys are prudes."**

...

_The video was still going._

S: "_Back on topic. We're gonna sing Griffin and Carly's song a capella."_

G: "_Nick Lachey said it means without instruments."_

**G: "_Nick Lachey's awesome!"_**

S: "_Ready, Freddie?"_

**F:"_Griff's gonna sing first."_**

G: "_Oh, shit. I forgot the words."_

**G: "_I forgot the song."_**

S: "_Alright, Freddie. Sing your favorite part to the song Mrs. Robinson."_

**F: **"_**Um-kay. I'll cue you guys to sing that one part." **__Freddie cleared his throat. _"_**Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns it's lonely eyes to you."**_

"_Woo-woo-woo," the other three sang. They kept laughing so hard, they never finished the song._

_..._

**F: **"**I don't even like that song. New video."**

...

_The next video was of Gibby and Freddie in the strip club._

**G:** "_**Griff, you got the camera, right?"**__ The camera shook. __**"Awesome."**_

**F:** "_**Gibby bet that I'm not a good enough dental dude to pull out my own tooth. He's on. This smoking hot blonde is gonna be the judge."**_

"_He's giving me 10 bucks," Sam said._

**G:** "_**Ready, Freddie?" **__Gibby handed Freddie some sort of tool._

G: "_Check it out."_ _Griffin turned the camera to Shane, who was on top of a stripper. __"Shane's gonna get laid."_

**G:** "_**AW MUSTARD HE'S DOING IT!"**_

G: "_Is her hair purple?"_

**G:** "_**Griff! He did it!"**_

_Griffin turned the camera back to Freddie, whose mouth was covered in blood._

**F:** "_**Gibby owes me 50 bucks!" **__When he smiled, blood came pouring out._

"_Dude, that's messed up," Sam came back with a towel._

**F:** "_**Now, for your viewing pleasure, I'm gonna….I'm gonna….I'm---" **__Freddie threw up. __**"I vomited." **__Everyone, except Sam laughed._

"_Maybe I should get you to the hotel."_

**F: "_Hey, you're hot! Will you like marry me?"_**

"_Um, we just met."_

F: "_**But you're hot. I think I love you, 'cause you gave me a boner!"**_

"_I give a lot of guys boners."_

**F: "_That was my first one. I'll give you $50, and this pretty ring in my pocket."_**

"_Sure, why not. I get off at one."_

G: "_Dude, Freddo's engaged!"_

_Freddie dipped Sam and made out with her. _

G: "_Shane! Shane! I think Freddie's gonna get laid!"_

...

S: "I don't think I've ever seen you happier Freddo."

G: "You should get wasted more often."

**F: "New video, please."**

...

_This next video was at the Best Little Chapel._

G: "_We're documenting a wedding. I'm gonna be the best man. Freddie's the groom, and this little guy---"__ the camera went to Baby Charlie __"is the ring bearer."_

**G: "_His name's Charlie. He's 6 months old."_**

G: "_So Freddie gets a wife, a kid, and a boner in the same night!"_

**G: "_He also gets laid."_**

G: "_Let's hope so. I'm gonna give the camera to Valerie now." __There was some moving around as the camera was handed to Jonah's wife._

S: "_Freddo's now the second of our gang to get married. Me being the first."_

**F:** "_**Only 'cause you knocked up Wendy."**_

S: "_I made you the godfather, didn't I? Stop bitchin'!"_

"_HEY!" Sam went over to Valerie. "If I'm paying for this wedding, I don't want it taped. Got it?" The camera shook._

**F**:"_**But I need some proof. How bout a piggy back ride?"**_

_Sam sighed. "Fine!" She got on Freddie's back. Freddie fell to the ground, and quickly vomited. "Freddie, you okay?"_

**F: "_THAT WAS AWESOME!"_**

**_..._**

G: "You vomited a lot that night Freddie."

**F: "I guess that's a side effect from partying to much."**

S: "He did the same thing a summer camp in eighth grade."

**F: "Four times."**

G: "Video's over. What's the next one?"

**G: "Oh man, there's only one more left."**

...

_The last video had Shane using a towel as a cape. They were at the hotel. _

S: _"I was Prince Charming in Rapunzel in like second grade."_

F: "_**Yeah, it sucked."**_

S: "_Shut up butt munch! Playing the part of my horse will be Griffin."_

_Griffin was wearing blankets. _

G: _"I'm a horse."_

S: "_Playing Rapunzel will be Gibby Gibson."_

_Gibby came out in a dress. _

G: _"I borrowed this from Freddie's wife."_

_Freddie turned the camera to himself. _

**F:**_ **"That's right. Fredward Benson is married, and no longer a virgin!"**_

S: "_Back to me, douche bag!" The camera returned to Shane. "I will be re-enacting the scene where I save Rapunzel. Gib, go up the stairs."_

**G: "No way, I'm in a dress! You come down the stairs!"**

S: "_Alright, lazy asshole." Shane missed the first stepped and tumbled down the hard stairs. "That's gonna hurt in the morning."_

G: "_Dude, we should take you to the---the---nurse's office."_

F: "_**I'll get the car. Gibby, take the camera."**_ _Freddie left._

**G:"_Did we mention we stole a cop car from some gay cop."_**

G: "_The chick cop was kinda hot."_

S: "_Hey, I got an idea. Let's sing 80's public domain songs as we go to the car. I'll start." Shane cleared his throat. "Oh Mickey, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey! Hey Mickey! Don't worry, be happy."_

G: "_Get out of my dreams, get into my car. Get out of my dreams, get in the backseat baby. Get into my car. 'Cause I ran. I ran so far away."_

**G: "_When the working day is done, oh girls, girls just wanna have fun."_**

G: "_That's only one song, Gib."_

**G: "_Oh, okay." _**_He paused for a moment. __**"Hey, like a virgin. Touched for the very first time. Like a virgin. When your heartbeat's next to mine."**_

G: "_Hey Shane, do Thriller."_

S: "_HA! HA! Okay." Shane stepped in the road and did a drunk imitation of Michael Jackson's Thriller. He was suddenly stopped when the stolen cop car hit him and he fell._

_Freddie stepped out of the car and went to examine Shane._

G: "_Freddie, you hit him!"_

**F: "_I didn't hit him, the cop car did!"_**

**G: "_Is he dead?"_**

_The three conscious friends screamed. "OH SHIT! DEAD BODY!"_

_..._

**F: "Oh my God. Shane, I don't know what to say."**

S: "You hit me with a car."

G: "I'm pretty sure the bruised ribs are from you falling down the stairs. Freddie didn't hit you that hard. You just fell over.

**G: "I can't believe you survived being hit by a car!"**

**F: "I can't believe I hit you with a car."**

S: "Hey, shit happens. It's Vegas."

* * *

Holy Moley that was long. How was it? Feedback, comments, reviews, all that good stuff.


	13. Epilouge: 1 Year Later

I believe this is the epilogue my readers were waiting for. This is truly the final part of iHangover (boo-hoo). Valentine's Day was okay, spent it watching Disney romances (and pointing out animation goofs). Oh, and for Oz, I got a City Father, a Winkie, a crow, and an Ozian. But I'm boring you. I think this is what you guys have been waiting for. The official, original ending. It will be long, probably longer than the story itself (lol). So fasten you're seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

* * *

1 Year Later

"And they lived happily ever after. Will you go to bed now?" Shane asked his 5 year old.

"Dad, why did it take so long to find the king's best knight, Sir Griffin?"

"Because Vas Legas is a kingdom that likes to fu---I mean mess with your mind. The poison they drank didn't kill them, it only sent on them on grueling tasks remember?"

"But why did the Village Idiot ask the guard out?"

"Because he's an idiot."

"Why did the King's Assistant marry the Princess? The princess wasn't even the king's sister?"

"Would you just go to bed?"

"Can't. Ava cries and wakes me up."

'Can you at least try to go bed?"

"You and Mom gonna have sex?"

"Anthony James Maslow! How do you know about sex?"

"Uncle Gibby told me."

"Yeah, like Uncle Gibby knows anything about sex. Please go to sleep."

"What does that mean?"

"Tony, please get to sleep!"

Tony sighed. "Night, Dad."

Shane turned the night light on. "Night Tony." He shut his son's door and went to his bedroom.

"Hey Baby," Wendy massaged her husband's back.

"Oh yeah….that's the spot!"

"I forgot to tell you I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Where you going?"

"I'm going to Carly's baby shower. It's ladies only."

"Tomorrow's Sunday. You know we have to tackle weekends with the kids together."

"That's why I called my Mom. Carly said you're welcome to stay with Griffin."

"Thank God for your evil bitch of a mother."

...

Freddie put in his new tooth. "See with this in, I won't look like a nerdy hillbilly."

"I don't even remember seeing you with all your teeth," Sam said. "It's gonna be kinda weird. By the way, Carly said you can go stay at Griffin's while I go to her baby shower tomorrow. Gibby and Shane are also gonna be there."

"That sounds cool. You know, it's been a long time since I've hung out with those guys."

"Not since Vegas."

"Ah Vegas. If it wasn't for Vegas, I never would've met you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Hey, did you put that gate thing up? Remember the last time you left the gate down."

"How was I to know Charlie would need five stitches?"

"Listen Fredweird, I told you I would marry you, but if you want me to squeeze out a few puppies for you, you gotta take care of Charlie. You're taking him with you tomorrow."

"What? Sam, I'll be with---"

"Try teaching him to talk too. I spent too much time teaching him to walk he barely knows how to talk."

"Yes mother." She punched him in the side. "OW!"

"Next time I'll knock out your new tooth."

...

"Gibby!" Tasha entered Gibby's apartment. "What's the surpri---" The lights were dimmed in Gibby's room. There were candles and rose petals all over. "Gibby?"

Gibby came out in a red robe. "Hey Babe."

"What's all this for?"

"It's Valentine's Day."

"Gibby, it's June."

"It's my valentine's day. It's the anniversary of the day I consciously remember meeting you."

"Oh Gibby! You remembered."

"I've even got our song ready to play."

"We have a song?" Gibby started playing _Hollaback Girl_ by Gwen Stefani. "Gibby---"

"This is the song we both started singing to in your car last Friday."

"Yeah, but it's not romantic."

"Aw mustard!"

"Don't get me wrong, everything else is. But that kinda killed the evening."

"I was hoping tonight would be the night we would sacrifice our virginities to each other."

"Gibby, I'm not a virgin."

"What?"

"I've slept with someone before."

"Aw double mustard!"

"But if you want," she started taking her shirt off, "you could sacrifice your virginity to me."

"No thank you." He turned the light on bright. "Could you at least help me clean up the rose petals."

...

"Please, Mom," Wendy was on the phone. "Shane was looking forward to you watching the kids today…..when have I cared about my brother?…Kidney stones, huh?….Mom, Shane and I have plans……don't say that about my husband, he's a great father!"

"Hey, Hon, have you seen Tony?"

She took the phone away from her ear. "Not helping my point. Shane, you have to take the kids with you."

"Fu---Hell no! Honey, I was planning on enjoying myself and saying words I wanna fu--I mean frickin' say."

"My brother's got kidney stones, she has to stay with him."

"Can't he get his mistress to stay with him?

"Tony's probably in his room."

Shane sighed and turned back to Tony's room. He tried opening the door, and it was locked. "Tony?"

"What's the password?"

"Tony, why is the door locked?"

"I'm practicing locking doors in the event of the Boogeyman or another 9/11."

"Make sure you're dressed, you're going with me to Uncle Griffin's house."

"Does he have the big pool?"

"Yeah."

Tony unlocked his door and came out holding a beach bag.

"You've come prepared?"

...

"Okay," Carly handed Griffin a piece of paper, "I'll be at the Ridgeway Banquet Hall, call me if there's an emergency."

"I'm sure there won't be."

"Well the last time Gibby came over---"

"That is why we will be keeping him away from the glassware."

"Good. I love my stepbrother, but at the same time---"

"Understood." He kissed his wife. "Have fun. Try not to go into labor."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." She kissed him back and left.

...

Freddie lived closer so he was the first to arrive, with Charlie.

"Hey Charlie," Griffin greeted. "Why's he here?"

"Sam told me to bring him. She said if I was gonna be a father someday, I should be a better one for Charlie. We can both practice on him."

"That didn't sound wrong at all."

"Well I mean, Carly's gonna have the baby in two weeks, so you might as well have some training as a dad with Charlie."

"Lazy parenting, Freddo. He's your kid. Besides, I've got one of those fake babies from the parenting class Carly and I are taking." Griffin went to his bedroom and came back with an animatronic boy baby.

"You know for sure you're having a boy?"

"No. The instructor said you should learn to take care of any baby even if you know the certain sex. A lot of people in our class were having boys, so they got girls. Carly and I got the only boy."

"Doesn't that make you feel special?"

"I'm actually kinda weirded out by that." Griffin's phone rang. "Hello…oh Hey Shane…..No I don't mind, Charlie's here he'll have someone to play with…no I like your kids….yeah, I've got some baby stuff…Okay, see you later." He hung up. "Shane's bringing Tony and Ava."

"Cool. So with Tony, Ava, Charlie, that creepy animatronic doll, and Gibby, this house will be full of babies."

...

Later that day as the kids, and Gibby were playing in the center of the living room, the other three friends were sitting at the kitchen table.

"Guys," Griffin began, "I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad. Carly and I haven't even been married an official year."

"So tomorrow's your anniversary," Shane took a drink of coffee.

"I felt we're kinda rushing into things you know. Shane, didn't you marry Wendy because she got pregnant with Tony?"

"Partially. My dad wanted me out of the house, and he said he would buy me an apartment near campus if I show responsibility. So Wendy and I got married in Mexico, where they tolerate that kind of stuff."

"How responsible," Freddie commented.

Griffin and Shane found it kinda funny.

"I just want advice on fatherhood," Griffin said.

"Okay. Enjoy giving up things you like, it's all about them now. Say goodbye to sleep. Stock up on extra diapers and coffee. Oh, and if you have a boy, wear goggles when changing him. And when they get older, for the love of God don't teach them the game Hot and Cold, they will hide whatever they can get their grubby little paws on. Try avoiding Hide-and-Seek as well. Baby books don't teach you shi---I mean crap. Say goodbye to swearing as well."

"What about the actual labor and delivery?"

"Ha! With Ava, Wendy shattered my hand in 7 places, if that's even possible."

"What about with Tony?" Freddie asked.

"He was a C-section. As scary as it was, when he was out, I was the first one to hold him. That felt…..really special." Griffin and Freddie smiled. "It was also kinda weird to cut their cords, but it kinda gives you a kinda strange bond, or connection with your kids. Oh yeah, try not to faint at the amount of blood and sharp tools." Ava began to cry. "Gibby, what did you do?"

"I didn't do nothing!" Gibby protested.

"Dad, I think she needs changing." Tony responded.

"Come on Griff, I'll show you how to properly diaper a girl." Shane took Ava in his arms. "Tony, bring me the diaper bag."

"I have a spare changing table in the bathroom in our room." Griffin lead Shane to his room. "We have a lot of junk in there."

...

Freddie and Gibby were sitting in the center of the room playing with Charlie.

"Hey Freddie, what was it like when you lost your virginity to a non virgin?"

"Gibby, I don't remember. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember?"

"Why did you ask me that?"

"I wanted to do it with Tasha last night, but she told me she wasn't a virgin. I kinda freaked, and we didn't do it."

"If you really, really like, maybe even love her, you should've done it."

"Maybe. Hey, is he talking yet?"

"No. Sam thinks there's something wrong with his speech development or some crap like that."

"Freddie, do you like Charlie?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, you don't really do much with him. I'm sitting here with him, you didn't really acknowledge him in Vegas either. From what I've heard from Sam, if you don't learn to love Charlie, she's gonna call off the engagement."

"Where did you hear that?"

"She was talking to Tasha when she brought him over for us to baby-sit him."

"No way. I love Sam. I don't wanna lose her."

"Then maybe you should learn to love Charlie."

Tony came running out. "Uncle Freddie! Uncle Gibby!"

"Tony, what's wrong?" Freddie asked.

"Dad, Uncle Griffin, and Ava are locked in the bathroom."

"Tony, can you watch Charlie?" Tony nodded as Freddie and Gibby ran to the bathroom in Griffin's room. "What's going on?"

"There's a problem with this door!" Griffin told them.

"What's the problem?" Gibby questioned.

"If you shut it, you can't open it without keys."

"Well where's your key?" Freddie asked.

"It's with our car key, which Carly and Missy have."

"Shit."

"Language, Freddie. My kid's in here!" Shane said.

"Sorry. Don't you have a spare?"

"I don't know where it is," Griffin said. The guys were all quiet when they heard a baby cry. "That's Dave, my animatronic doll. According to his schedule, it's time to change him."

"Do they actually wet themselves?"

"Yeah. It's some sort of suspicious yellow liquid."

Another crying came in from the living room. "CHARLIE!" Freddie ran into the living room.

"So do I have to take care of the doll?" Gibby asked.

Tony came in with Griffin's phone. "Uncle Griffin, it's Missy."

"I'm not giving her $50!"

"She says she took Aunt Carly to the hospital. Aunt Carly was saying she was in some kinda pain."

"OH SHIT!"

"Language, Griff," Shane said.

"Gib, forget about the doll and GET THE KEY!"

"What's it look like?" Gibby asked.

"JUST LOOK FOR A FUCKING KEY!"

"Okay, okay." Gibby went out to the living room and found Freddie holding Charlie trying to calm him down.

"Charlie hit his head on the coffee table! This kid is frickin' accident prone. Ssh, ssh Charlie. Freddie will think of something."

"Could you also try looking for the key?"

"I have to worry about him. Oh crap, there's blood. I shoulda stole that first aid kit from my mom. My mom. Gibby, my Mom has a skeleton key!"

"A key made from a skeleton?"

"No, a key that opens any door. She had one made in case of an emergency. Take Charlie," He handed the screaming Charlie to Gibby. Charlie stopped crying. "Why am I not surprised?"

...

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Ava was still crying even though she had been changed. They had been stuck in their for almost a half hour.

"Why won't she shut up?" Griffin asked.

"I think she wants her stuffed pussy."

"What?"

"Her toy kitten. She loves that thing, it calms her down."

"What else calms her down?"

"Some song Wendy sings."

"How does it go?"

"I dunno! I try to avoid it, Wendy's not really a good singer."

"Do you remember anything from the song? You might as well sing it, we're gonna be here a while."

"It's an old song from the 70's. Uh…um….uh…."

"_Stars…something bright above you…._

_Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…_

_Whisper I love you._

_Da, da, da, da…whatever they be.._

_Something, something, something…of me._

"It's not working!"

"No duh! What do you do to calm her down?"

"I don't know! She just likes it when people sing songs from the 70's to her. It puts her to sleep."

"What's a song from the 70's you know?"

"I only know the ones that sounded dirty."

"What about that song from that Will Ferrell movie. The one we leaned was a song from the 1976. The dirty one."

"I don't wanna sing that to my kid."

"What if I sing it too?"

"You're singing the chick part."

"Whatever! Just shut her up, she's giving me a headache."

Shane began singing.

"_Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight_

_Gonna grab some afternoon delight._

_My motto's always been when it's right, it's right,_

_Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night."_

"Join in, Griff."

"_When everything's a little clearer in the light of day,_

_And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway."_

"Your solo, Griff."

"_Thinking of you's working up my appetite_

_Looking forward to a little afternoon delight_

_Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite_

_And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting."_

The guys were singing together again.

"_Sky rockets in flight,"_

Shane made a rocket noise.

"_Afternoon delight."_

Suddenly the door swung open and Freddie and Gibby were standing there.

"Duet for me and Gibby," Freddie said.

"_Afternoon delight."_

"Let's do the ending together prudes," Gibby suggested.

"_Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah_

_Afternoon delight."_

"Guys, she stopped crying." Ava was sleeping in her father's arms.

"That's actually really sweet," Freddie commented.

"Did you find the key?"

"Nope," Gibby answered.

"My mom had a couple of spare skeleton keys and she gave me one. So I'm gonna make copies and give some to---"

"What the hell are we doing?" Griffin had come to his senses. "We gotta get to the hospital."

"Who's car can we take?" Shane asked.

"Not mine, it's almost out of gas," Freddie answered.

"I rode my bike," Gibby responded.

"Missy took ours while hers is in the shop," Griffin added. "Shane, we'll take yours."

"Cool, call Carly and tell her what happened and that we're on our way. Let me get my keys." Shane went to the counter. "Where are my keys? Gibby?"

"I didn't take 'em!"

"Tony, have you seen Daddy's keys?"

"I took 'em." Tony casually responded.

"Tell Daddy where they are, we need to get to the hospital."

"Nope!"

"Why not?"

"I don't wanna shot."

"I promise it's not for you. It's for Uncle Griffin and Aunt Carly."

"I wanna play Hot and Cold."

"Freddie, does a skeleton key work for cars?"

"No," Freddie answered, "just house doors."

"Shit," Shane said under his breath. He sighed. "How am I now?"

"You're cold."

"Gibby, hold Ava." Shane handed his daughter to Gibby and started walking around the living room.

"Cold." Shane went into the hall. "Somewhat warm."

"Somewhat warm? It's gotta be in one of these bedrooms."

"Screw this," Griffin went over to Tony. "Uncle Griffin will give you 20 bucks if you tell us where you hid your dad's keys."

Tony led them to Griffin and Carly's room. He went to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. "In here."

"Oh crap."

"What?" Shane asked.

"That's my private drawer. Where I keep all my R-rated stuff!"

"Tony, get outta there!"

Tony got the keys. "First give me my 20."

Shane laughed. "I taught him that."

Griffin groaned and handed Shane a $20 bill. "GUYS, LET'S GO."

Everyone ran to Shane's van. Shane put Ava in her car seat, Freddie brought Charlie's car seat and put Charlie in it, Gibby, Freddie, and Tony sat in the way back while Griffin got in the passenger seat. Shane tried to get his car started. "It won't start!"

"Fuck," Griffin muttered. "Freddie, we have to take your car."

"Not gonna work," Freddie told him. "It's almost out of gas, and it's not gonna fit all of us."

"It's gonna have to."

"And don't you have that gas card for that one gas station?" Gibby asked.

"Oh yeah, I do," Freddie realized. "But if we're gonna fit, Shane's gonna have to hold Ava on his lap, Gibby will do the same with Charlie, Griffin will sit in front, and Tony will squish in the middle of the front."

"Why there?" Shane asked.

"It's better than the trunk."

...

The drive to the hospital, was a long, anxious drive. The nearest hospital was two cities over and it didn't make matters easier to stop and let kids go to the bathroom or change them. Somehow, they made it.

Griffin ran up to the nurse's station on the maternity floor. "I'm looking for my wife, Carly Maslow."

"Room 58M," she answered. "Go straight down and to your left, it will be on the right side. There's a waiting area over there for the rest of you gentlemen."

"Thanks," Shane turned to Griffin. "Good luck." Griffin ran off. "Come on guys." The three friends, and the three kids, went to the waiting room.

Waiting there was Jeff and Cindy (Gibby's Mom), Regina (Carly's Mom), Missy, Wendy, Sam, and Tasha.

"Hey you guys," Wendy greeted.

"Where have you a-holes been?" Missy had a different way of greeting them.

"It's a long story," Shane responded. He handed Ava to his wife and he and his son sat next to them, Freddie took Charlie and sat next to Sam, and Gibby sat next to Tasha.

"Freddie, why is my son wearing a band-aid?" Sam asked.

"While I asked Tony to watch him as I tried helping my friends out of a locked bathroom, Tony wasn't watching him, and Charlie hit his head on a wooden coffee table. Nothing serious, I promise. I took care of it."

"He did," Gibby was sitting across from Sam. "When I asked him to help me look for a key, he tended to Charlie."

"This loser?" Sam pointed to her fiancée.

"Hey, I'm your loser," He gave her a kiss.

"Fred."

"Holy crap! That was his first word!" Sam held Charlie. "Say it again.'

"Fred."

"At least it's part of my name," Freddie commented. "That's really cool."

"He's real crazy about you."

"Listen Sam, it may not seem like it, but I really do love Charlie. I guess I could pay attention to him. But after today, I realized I wanna hold off on having kids for….a couple of years."

"Oh."

"Why did you say 'Oh' in that tone?"

"I just wish you would've told me three months ago."

"OH MY GOD!" Freddie stood up! "You're pregnant!" Everyone in the waiting room stared at him.

"Thanks for keeping that to yourself, Fred."

"You're gonna have a baby. And it's mine. I'm gonna be a father! I'm gonna---" Freddie fainted.

"FREDDIE!" Shane and Gibby helped him up. Freddie vomited on Gibby's shirt.

"Is he okay?" A receptionist asked.

"He's thrilled," Shane answered.

"It seems everyone's having babies," Tasha commented when a shirtless Gibby sat down. "Carly, Sam, my sister, my cousin, not me."

"You?"

"NOT me."

"Oh. That's good I guess."

"But I really do wanna have a baby with you, Gibby Gibson. I love you." She cleared the magazines off the table near where they were sitting. "Let's do it! Right here! Right now!"

"I don't think that table's gonna hold our weight, let alone mine, I---" Tasha began making out with Gibby and soon they were on top of the table. Wendy and Sam covered their children's' eyes. Tasha and Gibby were still doing it even when the table broke.

"If you want," the receptionist began, "I can get you a room."

"No, we're good!" Gibby's mom told her.

"Cindy?" Jeff was confused.

"This is a very crucial moment in Gibby's life. I don't wanna miss out." She pulled out a camera.

...

The gang was still waiting even after midnight. By that time, Missy, Regina, Jeff and Cindy had left. Tony was sleeping, the babies were awake, and there was nobody else in the waiting room. Gibby and Tasha were still making out. The others were sitting away from Gibby and Tasha.

"We should probably be heading home soon," Wendy told Shane.

"You ladies can go home. We'll stay here and wait with for the news."

"Oh," Freddie handed Wendy his keys, "We came in my car without car seats, so you, Sam, and or Tasha might wanna hold the babies."

"Alright, you guys can take my car home." Wendy handed Shane her keys and kissed him. "I'll see you later. Tasha," she got Gibby and Tasha to stop, "could you help Tony into Freddie's car."

"Sure," She picked up Tony. "Gibby, that was amazing."

"Wasn't it?" He replied coyly.

"So much better than Wade Collins."

"Yeah….wait, you made out with Wade Collins?"

Tasha kissed him goodbye. "Bye Gibby."

"You screwed Wade Collins?"

"I'm gonna go to," Sam stood up. "I'm gonna try to get him to bed."

"Fred!" Charlie said.

"I'll see you later bud," He shook Charlie's hand. "See you later too." He and Sam kissed goodbye, and she left.

It was quiet for a few minutes. "Kids, huh?" Shane had broken the silence.

"Yeah," Freddie laughed. "Boy what a day."

"Don't forget, today is Griffin and Carly's one year anniversary," Gibby reminded.

"Oh yeah. With all the chaos today, I totally forgot," Shane said. A guy came in and went to the soda vending machine. "Happy Anniversary, Griffin."

"Thanks," Griffin replied.

"Woah! Griffin!" Gibby called out. He and the others ran over to Griffin.

"Is it over?" Freddie asked.

"Gentlemen," he came back with four root beers. "you are talking to the proud papa of a healthy baby boy." The guys began to cheer. "And girl."

"Twins?"

"Yep. Max Jeffrey and Melanie Jane Drew."

"Congrats, man!" Shane patted Griffin's back.

"Who woulda thunk this guy's sperm can make two kids?" Gibby asked.

"Twins run in every other generation of my family. I just totally forgot until the doctor said there was another baby."

"I say we propose a toast," Freddie raised his root beer first. "To family."

"To family." The guys hit their bottles together and drank.

"We're not gonna get drunk from this root beer are we?" Gibby asked.

* * *

Aw, it's now officially over. I have to say I think that was longer than the story. Totally original too. And like I did when I was little, I called all my parent's close friends Aunt or Uncle whoever, so Tony isn't related to any of them, if that confused people. I chose _Afternoon Delight_ as the song because _Friends _used _Baby Got Back_ so it wasn't so original. If you were wondering, the song Wendy sings is _Dream a Little Dream of Me _by Mama Cass (of the Mamas and the Papas). So it's been great but all great things must come to an end. So, peace out!


End file.
